I expect most guys going into fatherhood shared the same thoughts that I had at this point last year - mostly variations on "What the hell have I gotten myself into?" - and it was amusing to look at the recap post I wrote last year, if just for the recurring theme of feeling ill-prepared.

Funny thing is, a year out, I don't think I'm any more prepared. I'm certainly more experienced, both in the day-to-day skills (diapering, etc.) and in interpreting the various cries and expressions that mark hunger, boredom, sleepiness, and so on. But I've never quite shook the feeling that there are any number of things out there I am just nor prepared to handle.

But I am beginning to think that that feeling never really goes away. I just need to master it and keep a level head while trying to figure out what to do. Thankfully, the (not so) little guy hasn't thrown us too many curveballs. He eats well, sleeps well, and will happily play whenever there's an inanimate object to grab (or put in his mouth).

What has gone away is the "what have I done?" feeling. I'd like to think that all prospective parents have that selfish part of their brain that kicks in, reminding them that they've traded sleeping in, eating out and romantic getaways for early mornings, Hot Pockets and car trips punctuated by frequent potty breaks. I know I had my moment with this.

I soon enough learned, though, that there's an irreplaceable joy in all the moments, little and big, joy that's different from what's I'd previously experienced. I never quire thought I'd be goofy about a first tooth, or those first gurgly sounds that lead to a voice, or the first time the kid was able to put his foot in his mouth. But I am, and I can truly say that whatever lingering doubts I had about becoming a parent and loving a child are long gone. I look forward to seeing the boy when he wakes up, when I get home from work, when I put him to bed, and in all the moments in between. I can't say I look forward to some of the things that are coming - I have to teach him how to go the bathroom? - but I know that I will finds things to love even about the times that I may dread.

Happy birthday, Joe.