The idea of a Summer Olympics in Boston reared it ugly head again recently. It's a horrible idea for any number of reasons, from the stress it would put on an already taxed transportation infrastructure to the cost of developing new venues to the usual inability to recoup costs. Unlike London, we don't have a section of the city we can level to build an Olympic park, and we're not going to have the sort of governmental backing they did.

But let's say, just for the hell of it, that Boston was going to host. Where would we put everything?  Here's what I see, by sport, using London as a guide where possible.

Archery - in London, they used Lord's Cricket Ground, a venerable venue considered the home of the sport. It was well-suited for the event, with its open space and seating for 28,000 or so. Based on the history and capacity, the most obvious Boston equivalent is Fenway Park. It's not like it'll be needed for baseball, as the Sox will certainly spend the entirety of the Games on the road (sorry, team!).

Athletics - The largest existing arena in the area that could fit this is Harvard Stadium, which is too small and not well-situated for traffic. As the athletics venue also typically hosts the opening and closing ceremonies, you'd need some space. My guess is that we'd knock down a significant portion of a neighborhood that abuts 93 and is within reasonable bus distance to South Station and the Red Line. This will be one of the many times we'll muse on the redevelopment of the Bayside Expo Center, which is owned by UMass-Boston and plays multiple roles in the current development of their campus. It is close to 93 and the JFK/UMass stop on the Red Line. Is it a big enough parcel for a stadium? Not without some eminent domain, I think.

Badminton - was held at Wembley Arena, which seats about 6,000. A similarly sized venue is Agannis Arena, on the campus of Boston University. BU also has a track and tennis center that could be used for something, although the capacity may be a little low (based on London venues, which seemed to bottom out at 5,000).

Basketball - was held in two separate venues, one in the Olympic Park that sat about 12,000 and the North Greenwich (ne O2) Arena, which seats closer to 18,000. While TD Bank Garden would serve as the larger venue, there's not a second arena of similar size in Boston proper. The Conte Forum is probably the next biggest arena that's close, but it seats under 10,000. If we're not being too picky about keeping things in Boston, you've got Worcester's DCU Center or Providence's Dunkin' Donuts Center.

Beach Volleyball - the site for this in London was Horse Guards Parade, which is the sort of flat, wide-open space Boston doesn't have in abundance. One completely impractical idea would be to have this on Georges Island, squeezing the court and stands inside the walls of Fort Warren. One idea that could have merit would be rehabbing the Wonderland dog track, which is a big enough parcel, across the street from a Blue Line stop which has a big new garage, and right next to a commuter rail line that could spawn a temporary stop. It's not a great site for cars - it's on a very heavily traveled section of Route 1A.

Boxing - this was one of many sports held at the ExCeL Center, a large convention center that could be configured for events seating 5,000 to 10,000. And while I don't think it's quite as big, I do think that the Boston Convention and Exposition Center could host this and a few other events. Its location near highways belies the fact that the Seaport District is one of the hardest parts of the city to get into and out of during rush hours. Though there are plans to start running a train from the BCEC to Back Bay using a currently unused track the state owns.

Canoeing - there were two separate venues outside of London, one for flat-water canoeing (the same lake used for rowing) and a man-made whitewater course. They weren't near each other in London, but could be close by if placed on Lake Quinsigamond out in Worcester. It regularly hosts rowing events, and it's got enough open space near it to put in the whitewater course.

Cycling - the variety of cycling events - track, road, mountain and BMX - will require completing a number of new venues.The road course would involve Boston streets, I assume, but timing would be key as it's going to be hard enough to keep things moving without shutting down streets for racing. A velodrome and Olympic-level mountain bike and BMX courses would need to be built, and I think that putting them all in one place would make sense not only for the Games, but as a potential post-Olympic cycling center. As for where I'd put it, I'd suggest either Devens or the former Weymouth Naval Air Station, both decomissioned military facilities with a reasonable amount of open space. My preference would be Devens, as we're already putting enough stress on the Red Line and 93.

Diving - would be part of a new build aquatics center as discussed under swimming.

Equestrian - London used Greenwich Park for this, and there's not really a comparable space in Boston. I would look to have this held up in horse country somewhere, like Andover. If we did want to keep it in the city, Franklin Park could probably host it, although it's a pain to get to and touches on some of the less salubrious neighborhoods of the city.

Fencing - was one of the events at the ExCeL Center, and could be held at the BCEC. But it could also be run at the Hynes Convention Center, a downtown location near the T that could handle those large, out of control fencing crowds.

Football - this is typically the most spread out event, and for London they held games all over the UK. I'd not spread it out that far, but if we were looking for five stadiums to use for this I'd go with Gillette Stadium (with temporary sod), the Yale Bowl, Rentschler Field, MetLife Stadium (also with temporary sod), and Lincoln Financial Field.

Golf - Forgot that they added golf. Ugh. An obvious location would the The Country Club in Brookline, which hosted the 1999 Ryder Cup. Should they pass, there's also TPC Boston, which is Norton and close to 495 and 95. There are also two muni tracks  in the Boston area - William J Devine (which is in Franklin Park) and George Wright in Hyde Park, both of which are 18 holes. I have no idea if they're of the appropriate quality for Olympic golf, as I would like to ignore that there is such a thing as Olympic golf.

Gymnastics - London used two venues, one for artistic (i.e. regular) and trampoline, the other for rhythmic. The same thing could be done in Boston with rhythmic and trampoline at Agganis or Conte and artistic at TD Bank Garden. Though there's part of me that thinks you could put rhythmic and trampoline somewhere smaller, like Matthews Arena.

Handball - would, based on London, wind up in the secondary basketball venue. I would wind up bumping it to either Agannis or Conte and then find a new home for badminton (such as Matthews) if needed. The medal round would wind up at TD Garden.

Hockey - a temporary venue was constructed for London, with 15,000 and 5,000 seat facilities. As this is the one sport that favors Astroturf over FieldTurf, there's not a place of the right size in Boston that could also hold that number of spectators. You could potentially do something temporary in Fenway after archery is done (probably not with two fields, though).

Judo - as one of the ExCeL sports, would go either to the BCEC or the Hynes.

Modern Pentathlon - would be split as appropriate for each discipline, with the advantage of combining running and shooting (and the recent adoption of laser guns) opening up a venue like the Public Garden or the Esplanade. It's a fairly small event - 72 competitors evenly split by gender - so there's some wiggle room.

Rowing - out at Lake Quinsigamond with canoeing.

Rugby - thankfully, synthetic turf appears to be OK for this, so you can put some combination of Harvard Stadium, Alumni Stadium, and Nickerson Field into play. You could potentially also use Parsons Field in Brookline, though 7,000 seats may be too small.

Sailing - taking a page from the America's Cup, it'd be great to do this on the Charles River. I don't know if there's enough room on the water, though. This could be where we revive the idea of using the harbor islands, or perhaps move things out to a more sailing-centric location, of which there are plenty.

Shooting - there is not an existing military structure in the Boston area that could hold this and provide potential seating for 7,500 spectators. This may be another event for Bayside depending on what sort of shape it's in for indoor events.

Swimming - would require building a facility, as the only way you could approach the sort of capacity that London had would be to construct a temporary pool at TD Bank Garden, which is out of the question.Once again we look to Bayside as a possible location for a new build facility (assuming the existing buildings have been demolished by then).

Synchronized Swimming - also at a new aquatics center, wherever it is.

Table Tennis - BCEC or Hynes.

Taekwondo - Also BCEC or Hynes

Tennis - while its name would imply otherwise, the Longwood Cricket Club played a pivotal role in early US tennis history - the Davis Cup was first contested there, for example - and it hosted a pro tournament for years. It's not quite up to Wimbledon's standards - no roofed center court, for example - but it's almost certainly the best option in the Boston area outside of a new build.

Triathlon - I would move this up the coast a bit, with swimming at Revere Beach and then the cycling and running heading in whatever direction makes the most sense. You could either cycle down 1A and bring competitors back into Boston for the run, or go up 1A and host the run somewhere like Salem. A pain if you want to drive 1A, but accessible by public transport between the Blue Line and commuter rail.

Volleyball- in London, volleyball was held at Earl's Court, a well-known exhibition center of which there's no real equivalent in Boston (at least at the stated capacity of 15,000). The more of these events show up the more I think a newly-built (probably temporary) general purpose arena is needed, which is unfortunate.

Water Polo- had its own venue in London. I'd suggest a combined venue with swimming, though the logistics may be problematic. The London venue was next to the aquatic center, and they shared some facilities, which would help. Not sure there'd be enough room at Bayside to build two buildings, but perhaps something with pools on multiple levels?

Weightlifting - Would go to BCEC or the Hynes normally, but I like the idea of using the Citi Performing Arts Center to create more drama. Probably too small at roughly 3,600 seats. Could go to Matthews.

Wrestling - at ExCeL in London, I'd prefer it to be in an arena venue like Agannis or Conte.

Three additional considerations to this nonsense:

1. The Paralympics. The Olympic host also hosts this event later in the year, which means a second disruption (or a longer initial disruption), although of less severity as there are fewer spectators. The Paralympics in London required a couple of venues not used for the Olympics (for wheelchair tennis and a cycling road course). Still, adding this in you'd get a pretty solid month of activity to deal with.

2. Non-athletic venues. On top of everything listed above, you'd also need an Olympic Village and a broadcast center. Personally, I think you could stick the broadcast center somewhere like the World Trade Center, though it tends to be in the middle of things, so might require something built close to the main stadium. The village is an even bigger concern, as I don't know where we'd drop a development for 17,000 people.


3. Timing. Of late the Summer Games have been happening in August, with the Paralympics in late August or September. The problem with that is going into September would clash with the return of 100,000 or so college students to Boston. Starting in July would help, but would also have things happening during the hottest (and muggiest) part of the year. We're not Qatar, but it'd be a bit uncomfortable. June would be best, not sure how much we'd have to bribe the IOC to make that happen.