07 September 2023

 USA Today came up with a list of the 100 biggest tourist traps in the world, though I'm not a fan of their methodology. They looked specifically at Google reviews of the 500 most popular tourist attractions in 65 countries. I feel like they missed a lot of honest to God tourist traps by not looking at Yelp or TripAdvisor and not including smaller attractions.

Still, they gave us a list, so here's my two cents on the places on the list that I've been to (in reverse order, to build the suspence!).

99: Cloud Gate, Chicago. Better known as The Bean. I don't know how this rates as a tourist trap. It's a sculpture in a public park. It costs nothing to see. You can spend five minutes there, look at your funny reflections, and move on. There are souvenir places nearby, but if you want to buy stuff that's on you.

96: The Grand Old Opry, Nashville. OK, I've been by this but never inside. I'm not really a country music person so the odds of my actually attending a show is vanishingly small. So it could be a tourist trap, I guess.

95: Cliffs of Moher, Ireland. I can see this, given how the area's been tarted up.  On my first visit you could just park and walk out to the cliffs. Now, it's a much more structured (and costly) experience. I still think the view is worth the hassle, though there are equally dramatic (if not moreso) cliffs at Slieve League, though you have to hall yourself up to Donegal to see them.

83: Stonehenge, UK. Similar to the previous entry, going to see the stones is more of a pain than it used to be. They've recently opened a new visitor's center, which is nice, but it's a fair distance from the site, so you either have to walk out or take a shuttle bus.  I'm guessing people moaned about not being able to go right up to the stones.

81: Kennedy Space Center, Florida. I agree with this, and would move it up the list if I could. It's gotten very expensive and they've cut back on the actual space stuff. 

75: Cable Cars, San Francisco. I had fun riding them the one time I had the chance. I think of these as less of a tourist trap and more of an attraction that is priced above what you might normally expect to pay. 

63: Niagara Falls, Ontario. I know people say the Ontario side is better than the New York side, but there are definately more tourist trap-type attractions over there. The New York side may be depressed and a little grungy, but you can at least see the falls with fewer distractions.

57: Old Faithful Geyser, Wyoming. Bullshit. Yellowstone is great and Old Faithful is fun to see. Plus you can get the whole family into the park for seven consecutive days for $35, and see Old Faithful - and all the other natural wonders on offer - as many times as you like. 

56: Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia. Yeah, it kind of is. But if it's still set up the way it was when I went, you can walk around the site for free (going into things requires a pass).

52: Stratford-upon-Avon, UK. I liked the town, and what attractions I did see were worth the money. Maybe I just didn't go to the more obvious tourist traps. Or maybe people didn't like reading Shakespeare in high school and took it out on the town.

50: Mount Rushmore, South Dakota. It's pretty disappointing. The sculpture is underwhelming, and the concessions are tacky. 

48: The Alamo, San Antonio. Was fine, but I visited 15 years ago or so. Maybe it's become more tourist trappy since then. 

47: The World of Coca-Cola, Atlanta. Touristy? Yes. A trap? Maybe. But I like Coke and love getting to try drinks from around the world, so I'm willing to give it a break.

46: San Antonio River Walk, San Antonio. The entire area is designed to get you to spend money, but is at least pleasant. I probably wouldn't recommend the boat tour, not much to see other than shops and restaurants. I will say that I liked San Antonio quite a bit for the short time I visited. If you want to see something less touristy, try the San Antonio Missions.

43: Times Square, New York. Probably should be number one.

29: Hollywood Walk of Fame, Hollywood. It's in a gross part of town and isn't much to look at (they're stars set in the sidewalk), but I don't think it's much of a trap unless you get roped into taking pictures with the fake movie stars.

27: Space Needle, Seattle. Was fine, like many things on the list I feel like it was more money than that it was worth going up. But I'd go again, I think.

23: Winchester Mystery House, San Jose. It is, but I was happy to spend the money to go in as I read about the house as a kid and always wanted to see it. The house was built by the heiress to the Winchester rifle fortune, who also believed that the people killed by Winchesters were out to get her. So she never stopped building, hoping to confuse the ghosts. There are also a number of odd spiritual/occult references throughout the place. I don't think I'd go back, but I'm glad I was able to see it.

21: Blarney Castle, Ireland. Very much a tourist trap. The castle has little historic value, and is only popular for people kissing the stone (which has no real connection to what backstory the castle has). I've been a couple of times, only went in once, would probably go back if I was with people who've never been (but would more likely hang out on the grounds than go in again).

19: Skylon Tower, Niagara Falls Ontario. Went by it rather than in it, some of the people in our group did go in and said it was fine. Though they only went in to kill time while I got the car, so I think it met the minimum requirement of being a time waster.

17: Navy Pier, Chicago. I guess is a tourist trap the same way the Riverwalk or Quincy Market in Boston is a tourist trap. It's a place specifically designed to get you to spend money, and if you don't know that going in you didn't do your homework. It was fine for what it is.

15: Fisherman's Whaft, San Francisco. See the entry for Navy Pier.

13: Guinness Storehouse, Dublin. Absolutely a tourist trap. People go for the bar on the roof and to buy stuff, the "museum" or whatever it's supposed to be is crap (or at least it was 20 years ago). Save your money and go drink Guinness at a nice pub.

4: Crazy Horse Memorial, South Dakota. It's a fair amount of money for what it is, and I expect people are mad that the statue isn't anywhere close to being done. You do get the sense there that the infrastructure around the memorial is now more of the focus than the memorial itself. Still, there are cultural and entertainment opportunities here involving indigenous Americans that you won't get elsewhere.

2: Salem Witch Museum, Salem MA.  Funny to think I live one town over from the second biggest tourist trap in the world. But it is, in fact, a tourist trap. It also gets a ton of visitors, so I have to think it earned its spot here through volume. Problem is I think most of the witch-related stuff in Salem is tourist trappy.

I think my doubts about this list are confirmed by South of the Border not being on this at all. It is the living, breathing, anachronistic definition of a tourist trap, and somehow escaped notice.


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