Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 40: Urban VII

We've saved the best (or least) for last, as Urban VII holds the record for shortest official pontificate, at just 12 days.

Giovanni Battista Castagna was born into noble Genoese and Roman families, and earned degrees in civil and canon law from Bologna before going to work as an auditor for his uncle, Cardinal Girolamo Vellano. He would later work for the Roman Curia and serve in a legation to France before being made an archbishop. He then served in a variety of civil and ecclesiastical roles: as a governor for several Italian regions, a papal nuncio for Venice and Spain, and as papal legate to Flanders. All of this high level work paid off in 1583 when he was made a cardinal by Gregory XIII.

Castagna was a crucial vote in the election of Gregory's successor, Sixtus V, as low turnout and a factional dispute made agreement on a candidate difficult. Sixtus, perhaps in repayment, said he wanted Castagna to succeed him when the time came. An anti-Spanish faction of cardinals opposed Castagna, as he was one of King Philip II's favored candidates.. The election took a week, with the anti-Spanish faction eventually giving in, likely because Castagna's ill health made it likely that he'd not be in office long.

Which came to pass in spades, due to what is thought to have been a case of malaria. In the short time he was in office, Urban provided funds for various public works and subsidized the price of bread in Rome. He also banned nepotism within the Curia, being strongly against the practice. He also instituted what is thought to be the first public smoking ban, as he threatened excommunication for anyone using tobacco in or near a church.

And that's a wrap. Thanks for sticking out another Lentorama. See you in 2026!

Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 39: Damasus II

You may remember the story of Clement II, who was made pope in order to squash three competing claims to the office and give Holy Roman Emperor Henry III a pope who could crown him as emperor. Which would have settled things nicely, except that Clement died less than a year later.

The Roman nobles sent an envoy to Henry to ask who should replace Clement, and just happened to have someone in mind. Rather than take their suggested candidate, Henry then asked the bishop of Liege who he thought should be pope. The bishop suggested one of the three deposed popes, Gregory VI, but by that point Henry was irritated at the length of time it was taking to come up with a pope and decided on the bishop of Brixen. 

Which would have been fine, except that one of the other deposed popes, Benedict IX, reclaimed the throne with the backing of the powerful counts of Tusculum. Henry instructed the Margrave of Tuscany to escort the new pope to Rome, which was ironic in that the margrave didn't like Henry, and was instrumental in getting Benedict back on the throne. The margrave refused to help the new pope, who then went back to Henry, who sent him back to the margrave with a letter basically telling the margrave to depose Benedict and install Damasus, or Henry would come down and make him do so.

This changed the margrave's tune, and he marched on Rome to depose Benedict and get Damasus on the throne. Damasus barely had time to get the seat warm before he died, 23 days after his coronation. Rumor had it that Benedict had Damasus poisoned, but there's some theorizing that Damasus actually died from malaria. 

 Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 38: Achillas the Great

Another Coptic pope before we wrap things up. Achillas was born in Alexandria, and was appointed to head up the city's catechetical school.  His work there likely led to his honorific "the Great," which referred to his achievements in the study of theology and Greek philosophy.

Pope Peter picked Achillas to be his successor shortly before he was martyred in 312 as part of Diocletian's persecution of Christians. Not the most auspicious way to start. 

Achillas only served six months, and his one notable action was to allow Arius to return to his ministry after Peter had condemned him. Arias is attributed as the founder of Arianism, a theological teaching that rejects the Trinity and holds that Jesus, as a creation of God, is distinct from God. Proving that if you have him an inch he'd take a mile, Arius tried to get himself named as successor to Achillas, but was unsuccessful. 

 Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 37: Adrian V

Adrian was born into a noble family of Liguria, and was given a number of positions in the church in the mid 13th century, perhaps most notably being made the Cardinal Deacon of San Adriano by his uncle, Pope Innocent IV.

His greatest service to the church came in England, where he was sent to mediate a dispute between King Henry III and his barons (Adrian was related somewhat distantly to Henry by marriage, as his sister was married to a cousin of Henry's wife).

Adrian was successful in that mission, and stayed on in England for some years as papal legate. His name actually appears in the oldest extant English statute law, the 1267 Statute of Marlborough (Adrian is named as a witness to its adoption). Adrian would also promulgate a set of canon for England that remained in force until the Reformation.

Adrian was elected pope after the death of Innocent V, but died in Viterbo just over a month later. For all of his positions in the church, he had never actually been ordained a priest.  For his troubles Adrian shows up in Dante's Divine Comedy on the fifth level of purgatory, reserved for prodigals and the avaricious. It's thought that Dante may have put him there by mistake, attributing accounts of Adrian IV's avarice to the next Adrian in line. There's little existing evidence that Adrian V was especially greedy. It probably didn't help that Adrian V spent a lot of time in England, while Adrian IV was English-born.

 Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 36: Stephen IX

Born into a ducal family of Lorraine, the future Stephen began his clerical career in Liege, but was soon invited the Rome by Pope Leo IX, who made him chancellor in 1051, and named him one of three legates to Constantinople in 1054. He was on the team that attempted - but failed - to prevent the Great Schism that saw the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches break communion.

Stephen returned to Rome suspiciously richer than when he left. The Byzantine emperor did give gifts to the papal legates (as well as gifts for the Holy See), but it did lead to questions about Stephen's conduct in Constantinople. While he retained the chancellorship under Victor II, these questions eventually led Stephen to leave Rome and take up residence in the monastery at Montecassino. 

A change of Holy Roman Emperor and the reconciliation of Stephen's family with other nobles removed some of the pressure, and a conflict over the naming of a new abbot for Montecassino led Victor to name Stephen the new abbot. This revived his career, and he would later be named a cardinal and would take up residence in Rome near his titular church.

When Victor died in 1057, the Romans drew up a list of possible replacements. The list had five names on it, and after much discussion it was decided that none of them were quite what they wanted. They decided that they wanted Stephen, and talked him into taking the throne.

As pope Stephen was a supporter of the Gregorian Reforms, which sought to reinforce the moral standing and independence of the clergy. He was especially in favor of clerical celibacy, noting it as a primary difference between the Eastern and Western churches. He also pushed reforms at Montecassino, where he remained abbot until his death.

Stephen was also involved in political affairs, which likely led to his death. He was very interested in driving the Normans out of southern Italy, and wanted to tie that into making his brother the Holy Roman Emperor. This wasn't a popular move (nor was his "borrowing" money from Montecassino to fund this adventure), and it's likely that someone among the Romans had Stephen poisoned. Stephen died in Florence 239 days after becoming pope. 

Prior to leaving Rome, Stephen had ordered that if he died, a new pope was not to be elected until Cardinal Hildebrand returned from a mission to Germany. That didn't quite happen, leading to what is now considered the antipapcy of Benedict X.

 Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 35: John XIV

While many popes were named with the consent of an emperor or king, John is an example of a pope chosen and installed by an emperor without input from nobles or clergy or even an election. Which works out fine - until the emperor dies.

Otto II was the Holy Roman Emperor when Pope Benedict VII died in 983. He wanted the abbot Maiolus of Cluny as the next pope, but Maiolus declined. Otto then turned to the bishop of Pavia, Peter Canepanova, who would eventually accept. He took the name John in deference to St. Peter's role as the first pope, becoming one of the few popes up to then to serve under something other than his birth name.

Otto died not long after John became pope, and the empress left Rome soon after in order to help her son hold the throne. John was left without support, opening the way for the return of Boniface VII. Boniface had held the papacy briefly about a decade before, but was overthrown for his own bad actions while in office. He spent that intervening decade in Constantinople, nurturing relationships that helped him retake the throne. John was imprisoned and died about four months later, though the cause (natural or otherwise) is unknown.

For what it's worth, Boniface's second run as pope lasted less than a year, and after he died (cause also unknown) he was stripped naked, dragged through the streets of Rome, and left under a statue of Marcus Aurelius outside the Lateran Palace.  It would take until the 20th century for Boniface to be considered an antipope and be removed from the list of popes.

 Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 34: Mark

Not to be confused with the apostle and first patriarch of Alexandria, this Mark was Roman by birth. His reign, while short (263 days), saw him confer on the bishop of Ostia the power to consecrate newly-elected popes (which power they may have already had). He also started to compile lists of early martyrs and bishops.

Mark also established a couple of churches in Rome, one of which still stands (the Basilica San Marco, which is where he was eventually buried, a good 800 years after his death in 336).

 Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 33: Lando

I'll take a second so you can get the Star Wars jokes out of your system.

OK.

Lando hailed from Cloud City on Bespin...

Sorry.

Lando was born into a noble Lombard family, and that's about all we know of him prior to becoming pope. He served for somewhere between 4 and 6 months, with most sources tending towards the longer period. The one notable thing about him is that he was the last pope before Francis to have a unique name without regnal number, a run of just about 1100 years. 

Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 32: Lucius II

There were three popes Lucius. Two qualify for this series. Like Celestine, there's a reason this name doesn't get used anymore.

Lucius rose through the ranks pretty quickly, getting named a cardinal-priest 1124, and later serving two terms as a papal legate to Germany. He was able to get the Holy Roman Emperor to intercede in Italy twice to put down threats to Pope Innocent II, and in return Innocent made Lucius papal chancellor. Lucius was elected in 1144 (succeeding Celestine II, there's an omen), and likely taking his name from the first Lucius, whose death was commemorated a few days before the second Lucius was coronated.

In his just under a year in office, Lucius got involved in political matters in England and Portugal (he supported Empress Maud in The Anarchy, while he did not recognize Afonso I as king of an independent Portugal), and lost a small war to the king of Sicily. 

It was the latter event that led to Lucius' death. With the papacy weakened by the war with Sicily, members of the Roman senate declared a republic. Establishing a commune, the republicans demanded the pope give up his temporal powers. Lucius chose to fight, and died of injuries sustained during a fight where he was hit by a large stone.

 Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 31: Boniface III

Most of the popes who've featured here haven't made much of a mark, as it's often hard to effect significant change in a short amount of time. But then you have cases like Boniface, whose brought about changes that are still part of the church - and specifically the papacy - to this day.

Prior to becoming pope, Boniface was sent to Constantinople to represent Pope Gregory I to the emperor, in a role similar to today's papal nuncio. The future pope was a success in the role, finding favor with the emperor and solving a tricky dispute between some local bishops. When Gregory's successor, Pope Sabinian, died in 606, it was no surprise that Boniface was selected to replace him.

Which he didn't do until early 607, nearly a year after Sabinian's death. Why the delay? Some attributed it to Boniface not leaving for Rome until he wrapped up his business in Constantinople, while others suggest that Boniface didn't want to take the throne until he was assured that his election was above board. There was also some thought that Boniface wasn't ratified by the emperor right away, due to a dispute among clergy and nobles as to whether or not policies set forth by Gregory would continue.

In any event, Boniface took the throne in February 607, and died in November of the same year. In that time, he did get three things done that more or less continue today:

* Anyone found discussing who will succeed the pope while the pope is alive could be excommunicated. While no longer in force (that I know if), it's still sets the idea that the election of the pope should be free and fair.

* No steps could be taken to elect a new pope until three days after the death of the pope. The period is longer now, but still in place.

* A decree from the emperor restating that the bishop of Rome should be the head of all the churches. This headed off a conflict with Constantinople's patriarch, and in the long term gave Rome further support in remaining head of the church. 

 Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 30: Michael V

If a pope named Michael - never mind five popes Michael - doesn't ring a bell, there's a reason.

The pope in Rome isn't the only church leader to use the title pope.

The Coptic Orthodox Church uses the title (formally Papa Abba) for the Patriarch of Alexandria, whose line traditionally starts with St. Mark. The use of the term does not conflict with the use by the bishop of Rome.

And if the Copts don't challenge Rome for use of the term pope, they also don't challenge Rome in the number of popes who served less than one year. Coptic popes tend to get more time in office, probably because there weren't local kings who kept deposing them. For example, there have been two Coptic popes in the 21st century - the current one, who started in 2012, and his predecessor, who took office in 1971. Terms in office were shorter earlier in history, but still nothing like what was going on in Italy.

Michael V is the most recent Coptic pope to serve less than a year, having served 8 months between 1145 and 1146. There's very little out there about his time in office, with the one notable achievement the return of the relics of St. Macarius the Great to his monastery in the Nitrian Desert. 

More notable for me was the difficulty I had finding Michael on the list of Coptic popes on the Coptic Orthodox Church website. Turns out the popes Michael used differing forms of the name, which the website counts separately (our subject is Michael III there, as two of the Michaels on my original list are entered as Khail I and II). 

 Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 29: Gregory XIV

Niccolo Sfondrato became familiar with the workings of the church at an early age. Born into a noble Milanese family, his mother died shortly after Niccolo was born, and his father opted to join the church soon after. He was made a cardinal-priest a few years later, but died in 1550 not long after being named the bishop of Cremona.

Growing up with an ecclesiastical dad instilled strong senses of modesty and piety in Niccolo, and he entered the church not long after graduating from Padua with degrees in civil and church law. He took up various posts until being made bishop of Cremona in 1560. He participated in the Council of Trent, and implemented its reforms in his diocese. He would later become a cardinal-priest and cultivated friendships with future saints Charles Borromeo and Philip Neri.

In 1590, Urban VII died before his coronation, prompting an unexpected conclave. Philip II of Spain took the opportunity to try to get a favorable candidate elected, with his ambassador presenting lists of favorable and unfavorable candidates to the College of Cardinals. This did not sit well with other factions in the college, and voting ping-ponged between the Spanish faction rejecting candidates not on Philip's list, and the other factions rejecting various Spanish nominees. 

A couple of months passed, and the groups opposing the Spanish concluded that they were not going to be able to elect a pope without Spanish support. The opposition settled on Niccolo as an acceptable candidate from Philip's list, and he was elected. 

Philip hoped that a pope from his list would support him in claiming the crown of France, which is exactly what Gregory did. He intervened for the Catholic side in the French Wars of Religion, excommunicating the French king Henry IV and raising an army to invade the country. He may have less endeared himself to the Spanish by ordering Catholics in the Philippines to pay reparations to natives that had been enslaved, and threatened excommunication for anyone who did not free their slaves.

It was during the invasion of France that Gregory died, apparently due to a large gallstone. He served just 10 months.

 Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 28: Clement II

The papacy was split three ways in 1046, with two claimants (Sylvester III and Benedict IX) holding parts of Rome, and a third (Gregory VI) claiming that he had purchased the papacy from Benedict. This state of affairs made it impossible to determine who had the right to govern the church, and more importantly who had the power to crown heads of state.

The latter was a huge issue for Henry III, who wanted to be the undisputed Holy Roman Emperor, but couldn't comfortably hold the title if the pope who crowned him was illegitimate. He solved this problem by leading his army and a large group of clerics and nobles, into Italy. He called the Council of Sutri (named for a town just outside of Rome), which was tasked with ending the schism.

The council was able to get all three popes to resign, either due to irregularities in their election (Sylvester) or due to the commission of simony in the selling of the office (Gregory and Benedict, who actually never got paid). This left the throne open.

Henry quickly filled the void, nominating his personal confessor, Suidger von Morsleben, after the archbishop of Bremen declined. Suidger accepted, and took the papal throne as Clement II. Among his first acts was to crown Henry as Holy Roman Emperor.

Clement spent a lot of his time as pope in the company of Henry as he traveled through Italy and back into Germany. He did manage to push some reforms through, mostly around simony (not surprising given how he became pope). Clement died on his way back to Rome in October 1047, and was interred in Bamberg Cathedral (where he was bishop while also serving as pope, one of the few times a pope also had a second see).

There were rumors at his death the Clement was poisoned. Toxicology tests performed in the 20th century found high levels of lead sugar in his body, though it's unclear if he was actually poisoned or if he was using it as medicine. 

Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 27: Benedict V

Benedict was pope for about a month in 964, between the death of John XII and the reinstallation of Leo VIII. The Roman nobles were no more interested in Leo as pope the second time as they were the first time, and they elected Benedict, who also enjoyed the support of the local militia.

Envoys sent to Holy Roman Emperor Otto I to tell him of the election were warned that Benedict should not be made pope. They returned to Rome with the message, but the locals decided to proceed, and Benedict's coronation went off as planned.

Otto, still wanting to get Leo on the throne, laid siege to Rome. While Benedict did what he could to boost morale among the defending troops, the city could not hold out in the face of ongoing famine. Benedict was brought in front of a synod (led by Leo) accusing him of breaking his oath to not elect a pope without the emperor's consent. Benedict acknowledged his guilt in return for his life.

Stripped down to the rank of deacon, Benedict wound up in Hamburg, under the care of the local archbishop. He died a little over a year later. 

 Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 26: Leo VIII

This Leo hold a distinction from all the other Leos we've discussed here, in that he served as both an antipope and a pope. And in both instances, his reign was short enough to qualify for inclusion here.

Leo first took the throne in 963, being installed by Holy Roman Emperor Otto I after the emperor deposed the sitting pope, John XII (who had sent Leo as part of delegation to Otto in an attempt to appease him, which clearly didn't go as planned). John still had a strong base of support in Rome, which rebelled and tried to overthrow Leo, only to be put down by Otto's troops. Leo did arrange for those nobles taken prisoner to be released, but when Otto eventually left Rome John's supporters rebelled again, driving Leo out of Rome.

John retook the papacy, and excommunicated Leo, who remained in Otto's court. John would die a few months later, prompting Otto to return to Rome, dethrone John's replacement (Benedict V, who we'll chat about tomorrow), and reinstall Leo as pope. 

This time around, Leo was able to hold the throne for nearly a year before he died. His rule was relatively peaceful, though it's believed that a number of bulls attributed to him that gave the Holy Roman Emperor investiture power over popes, bishops, and archbishops were at least tampered with, if not forged outright. This would contribute to what is known as the Investiture Controversy, which took a couple of centuries to straighten out.

The question of how to classify Leo's time in office did linger, with the general consensus being that Leo was an antipope during his first run as pope as John XII did not willingly give up the papacy. Where Benedict did give up the papacy (albeit under some sort of duress), and no one else tried to restore him (or claim the throne for themselves), Leo can be considered pope during his second run.

 Lentorama 2025: Perfunctory Popes

Day 25: David I

The rise of David I to the papal throne was an accident. When the conclave that "elected" him was in its 25th day of stalemate, Cardinal Rocco was finally able to convince the electors to support Cardinal Albini, the favored candidate of the organized crime figures that were the power behind Rocco. 

The problem is that the name of the elected candidate is listed as Albinizi, who turned out not to be a cardinal but a parish priest named David Albinizi.  Upon taking office, David became friends with the head of his security detail and the nun who saw after his household, but he made little headway with the Curia and the cardinals who wanted a Mafia-friendly pope. 

David survived an assassination attempt, and after mulling abdication decided to stay in office. He doubled down on addressing the corruption inside the Vatican Bank, removing Cardinal Rocco from office due to his involvement. Rocco then tried to blackmail the pope with news of a son, whom the pope fathered before becoming a priest. But it turned out the son, now a rock star, was dating the daughter of Corelli, one of the important Mafia figures trying to take over the Vatican. Corelli planted a bomb to kill the son, but accidentally killed his daughter as well.

David stayed in office long enough to dissolve the Vatican Bank, but was forced to abdicate when the news that he had an affair that resulted in a son went public. This led to the quick election of Cardinal Albini, who it turned out was actually Corelli in disguise. David went to the Sistine Chapel to try to prevent Albini's coronation, but was too late. Now Vittorio I, Albini/Corelli celebrated by firing gunshots into the ceiling - and was killed by falling plaster. 

Thoroughly shaken by the turn of events, the College of Cardinals made the nun who ran David's household the new pope.