07 February 2014

As you may have heard, the Winter Olympics have returned, this time at the Russian resort city of Sochi, where a mere $51 billion dollars have been spent (or siphoned off or otherwise thrown down a hole somewhere) to bring us, to date at least, journalists mocking the shoddy nature of the accommodations and dog murder. Things will likely even themselves out as the actual competition starts, but it got me to thinking what the potential is for similarly humorous Winter Olympic shenanigans in the future?

Turns out they're not great. The 2018 Games will be held in a handful of towns in Pyeongchang, South Korea, and, agitation from the north notwithstanding, will likely be free of nonsense. So what about 2022? There are five potential hosts, with varying potentials for public failure, which I will rank here in increasing order of potential chaos.

5. Oslo, Norway. An absolutely solid choice that would provide zero opportunity for amusing failure. They'd be on the other end of this list if we were looking at the likelihood of actually winning the Games, though probably not at the top as bribery opportunities will be limited at best.

4. Beijing, China. Proved in 2008 that they can put on an event of this size, and would be able to do so again here, but without Sochi-level fun as corruption on that scale in China often ends with the grifter taking a state-sanctioned bullet to the head. We'd just have to wait a couple years after the games to go back for a second dose of ruin porn.

3. Krakow, Poland.  I suppose there's some potential for shenanigans, but any comparison to Russians would likely be met poorly, so I'm assuming work would be mostly on the level. 

2. Lviv, Ukraine. Probably not fair to lump the current unrest in Ukraine with double toilet bathrooms and hotels without lobbies, but should the country continue to more closely align itself with Russia maybe we'll get something similar out of their Olympic preparation. Not sure there are enough oligarchs to rack up as much waste and skimming as Sochi, but maybe Russia will lend them some.

1. Almaty, Kazakhstan. Former Soviet republic, only one president since independence, awash in petrotenge and looking to build its international profile. I'm surprised the IOC just hasn't awarded them the Games by fiat. I expect the bribes are already flowing to get the votes they need in 2015. On the down side, Kazakhstan has or will host some Olympic-style events, so may already have enough infrastructure in place to not have the sort of problems that were reported in Sochi. 

So while there's some potential for things to go sideways in 2022, the best option is actually in another sport: Russia hosts soccer's World Cup in 2018. Start rounding up the dogs now.

No comments:

For want of anything better to post, here's a breakdown of if I've been to the most populous 100 cities in the US, and if so for how...