Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Holiness

Day 40: The Pope Must Diet!

So this is the film that gave me the idea for this whole thing. Robbie Coltrane (pre-Cracker and Hagrid) plays a less than exemplary priest who is accidentally named pope. He then has to deal with Vatican corruption, the Mafia, and the return of an old girlfriend.

The original name of the film, The Pope Must Die, generated some flack, resulting the the alternate title under which it was released in the US (with some posters adding a 't' in the shape of a cross, which undoubtedly cheesed off some of the same people).

That's it, thankfully. Surprising how many films mention the pope but don't actually have one in the film. On the plus side, I could have done this whole thing based on short films of popes shot in the silent era. Maybe I should have? 

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Holiness

Day 39: Becket

Not sure how I didn't think to include this earlier. It's the story of Thomas Becket and the English King Henry II, and how their relationship and differing responsibilities eventually led to Henry ordering the killing of Becket (with some question as to whether it was intentional or not).

With names like Burton, O'Toole and Gielgud in attendance, it's Italian actor Paolo Stoppa who plays Pope Alexander III. The only other films he's been in that I'm familiar with are spaghetti Westerns, which is an interesting juxtaposition.

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Holiness

Day 38: Galileo

A 1975 biopic about the famed scientist, as played by Topol.Michael Lonsdale shows up as Urban VIII. It's based on a play by Bertold Brecht and filmed to maintain as much of the stage experience as possible (which I guess explains Topol). 

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Holiness

Day 37:  Marie Ward - Zwischen Galgen und Glorie

I'm pretty sure this German film from 1985 is about the English nun Mary Ward, who founded two religious orders during her lifetime in the 17th century. She received patronage from several popes, two of whom - Urban VIII and Gregory XV - are in the film.

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Holiness

Day 36: Blood Jungle ...or Eviva il Coltello!

A castrato and an undead vicar explore the jungle for purposes that are unclear. Dave DiLillo plays the pope, whose role in the jungle adventure is also unclear.

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Holiness

Day 35: Una vita scellerata

This film is based on the autobiography of Benvenuto Cellini, a 16th century Florentine who was a gifted goldsmith, musician, and soldier. He found favor with the Vatican (most notably Clement VII) in all those areas, and lived on of those lives that defines the Renaissance.

All of this comes from his Wikipedia entry, as the entry for the film on IMDB has almost no details as to the plot. Max von Sydow plays Clement, and Ben Kingsley shows up as "Governor." Interested as to how they managed with the film being in Italian.

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Holiness

Day 34: Good Morning, Night

This Italian film tells the story of the kidnapping of Aldo Moro, a former prime minister, by the Red Brigades. The film is told from the viewpoint of one of the brigade members who guarded Moro, a young woman who has doubts about the kidnapping.

Pope Paul VI appears in the film based on his role in trying to get the government to negotiate for Moro's release, at one point offering to take Moro's place.

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Holiness

Day 33: Sign of the Pagan

Attila the Hun plans to strike at Rome, and cuts a deal with the emperor a Constantinople to turn a blind eye. A centurion who learns of the plan recruits the emperor's sister to help thwart the plan. Attila is also apparently in awe of the Christian God, which I imagine is how Pope Leo I gets involved. Jack Palance plays Attila, I'm assuming because he was good on a horse.

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Holiness

Day 32: The Secret Conclave

This appears to be an Italian film about the election and papacy of Pius X. Released in 1952, it made it to the States the following year. The one review I could find of the movie was not positive, but the film apparently had its highlights, including a papal coronation and Pius' death scene.

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Holiness

Day 31: Vampie

Vampire Azure St. Clair is allergic to blood but survives by baking something called vampie, which transfers the life force of the eater to the vampire. A shadowy order of vampires wants to use vampies to control the world, and while they're trying to do that the first American pope, Theodore III, orders Azure's assassination and sends a Jesuit assassin (along with his philosopher-quoting dog) to take her out. We were so close to an actual The Poke of Zorro, weren't we?

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Holiness

Day 30: Elizabeth

Of course the pope shows up here, what with the constant plots to depose or kill the leader of the breakaway Church of England. Sir John Gielgud played the pope, marking his last feature film appearance at the age of 94(!).

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Holiness

Day 29: Johnny Dangerously

Dom DeLuise appears as the pope, who is a big fan of Johnny Dangerously, local gangster with a heart of gold. It's a small scene, and only about the 100th craziest in the film. I don't think I've seen this since Comedy Central took it out of heavy rotation. Farging iceholes.

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Highness

Day 28: Deliver Us From Evil

This 2006 documentary by Amy Berg follows Father Oliver O'Grady, who is moved from parish to parish in northern California in the 1970s to cover for his pedophilia. Benedict XVI appears in archival footage, as the focus of the story are the abusive priest, those who helped cover up his crimes, and those whose lives were shattered by them.

The film earned an Oscar nomination in the feature documentary category (losing to An Inconvenient Truth), but did pick up several awards from critic groups as well as DGA and WGA awards for Berg. 

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Holiness

Day 27: The Red Knight.

I have no idea what to make of this film, which appears to riff off both the Red Knight myth from Arthurian legend and the Crusades. The plot is also a little hard to follow based on what I can find - the titular knight has some sort of divinely-granted strength due to saving his best friend from a fire, but he also wronged the friend in a romantic dispute, and maybe the friend turns into a boar at night? The pope then asks the knight to find someone who fled from the papal court for reasons I don't quite understand.

Would it surprise you to learn that this is a French film?

The knight is played by veteran actor Daniel Auteuil, which is heartening as if this were an American film they'd never let an actor in his 50s near a role that appears to combine romantic and action elements. Pope Innocent III is played by Jean-Francois Gallotte, another veteran French actor, but who I know nothing about.

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Holiness

Day 26: Monsignor

A shady priest (played by Christopher Reeve) uses his wartime heroics and connections to crooked Army figures and the Mafia to help build up the Vatican's finances during and after World War II. Along the way he and his mentor (played by Robert Prosky) work together to rise through the Vatican hierarchy and foil the mentor's rival. Then Reeve falls in love with a nun, and things take a turn.

The pope is played by Leonardo Cimino, a character actor who you might recognize from films like Moonstruck, The Freshman and various TV roles. The producer of the film apparently decided to make it after reading a synopsis of the book, which was originally written in French. That might explain why a film with a number of notable names, and with the publicity fitting a major release (I remember ads for the film) stiffed at the box office. Or maybe it was Superman playing a crooked cleric.

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Highness

Day 25: The District

This Hungarian animated film features a young man who lives in Budapest and wants to win over the daughter of a local pimp. But he has no money to settle family squabbles and get married, so he concocts a plan: he will go back in time to kill mammoths, and then sell the oil they turn into in the present day.

I have no idea how the pope figured into this, but he does, along with Osama bin Laden, George W. Bush, Tony Blair, and the prime ministers of Hungary and China. We're a Sadaam Hussein and the devil away from this becoming another South Park movie. 

Lentorama 2014: We're Ready for Your Closeup, Your Holiness

Day 24: Brother Sun, Sister Moon

Another St. Francis biopic, brought to us by Franco Zeffirelli. Pope Innocent III is played in this movie by Sir Alec Guinness, in his only papal role. If IMDB can be trusted the Beatles were originally considered for the major roles, and Al Pacino read for Francis but was considered too over the top.