Lentorama 2009: Great(?) Moments in Catholics on Television

January 22, 2006: Gaby Solis and Sister Mary Bernard throw down

In the early days of Desperate Housewives, Carlos Solis went to prison for some financial shenanigans, and secured early release after getting involved in a program for Catholic inmates, through which he met Sister Mary, who as attached to the church in Fairview. After his release, Carlos started to spend increasing amounts of time with Sister Mary due to an apparently genuine interest in religion.

This was not seen as a positive development by Gaby Solis, as it both interfered with Carlos getting back to his highly compensated (and hopefully now legal) and meant he was spending to much time with a "knockout" nun. It's not clear that there was any physical attraction between Carlos and Sister Mary, but she was very skilled at manipulating Carlos for her own purposes.

All this came to a head when Carlos, at Sister Mary's urging, Carlos presents Gaby with an ultimatum - have kids or get an annulment. Seeing Sister Mary's hand in this, Gaby goes to the church, but rather than confront her Gaby winds up in confession, where she tells the priest that Sister May and Carlos are having an affair. Next thing you know, Sister Mary is reassigned to Alaska.

This would be enough for most women. But it's not enough for Gaby. She returns to the church and rubs the transfer in Sister Mary's face. When she gives a parting shot related to Sister Mary's floor scrubbing (more punishment, I assume), Sister Mary snaps and throws her scrub brush at Gaby. Gaby walks back, slaps the nun, and believes that's it. But it's not. The two have a knock-down catfight that results in Sister Mary's arm catching on fire after she's pushed into a display of votive candles. Gaby puts the fire out, which prompts Sister Mary to bite Gaby on the arm. They continue to tussle until a priest breaks things up.

There aren't enough nun fights on TV. You think Fox would have built a show around that.