I was going to write today on the similarities between my fantasy football team and the Patriots, both of whom have come back from the dead (relatively) to get back into the playoff hunt. It was going to compare a variety of personnel and schedule issues, and would have been interesting to no one.

What saved all of us from this fate was an article over on Boston.com that the USA is not just the richest and mightiest country in the world, but it's also the most swingin', as it leads all nations (or all those surveyed, at least) in a number of sexual categories, including total number of experiences, average number of partners, and average age of one's "first time."

Americans have roughly 25% more "encounters," twice as many partners, and starts having sex a full two years earlier than the global average. From a public health standpoint, this is a little worrisome, as it means that the risk for STIs, unwanted pregnancy, and the rest of the problems that can come with wanton carnality are up. On the other hand, with the economy in the dumper and everyone thinking they're going to go up in flames or down in a sea of spores, what's the harm in a little more lovin'?

In some respects, this should be no surprise. Extrapolate this from nations to individuals, and it makes perfect sense that the rich, powerful country gets all the nookie. More often than not, the hunk with the Porsche and the daddy who's a bank president gets the hottie over the guy driving an Escort who helps out in the family variety store. I know, when it comes down to it we love the person and not the things, but we're not talking love here. We're talking sex, and the alpha male (or female) reigns.

Looking at the countries involved, you have Canada, Holland, the Czechs, all very nice, kind of dull perhaps, getting some action but not running with the big dogs. How to explain that the "big dogs" include Greece, Croatia, and South Africa? Two theories:

1. Sex is, by and large, something you can still do for free. Or, considering a condom manufacturer sponsors the survey, for the price of some latex.

2. The countries are "exotic" or it's the accent. Almost every woman I've even met goes gaga for an Australian accent (though the Aussies rank surprisingly low). The same deal here (though, I suppose, most of the folks in the survey have an accent in comparison to me).

You'd think India and China would rank higher given their populations, but I'm assuming a combination of traditional social structures and poor contraception result in more pregnancy per encounter than usual.

Most interesting stat to me: Japan averaged out with 36 encounters a year, but with over 10 partners. You'd think such infrequency would make things seem brand new every time. Perhaps it's one of those TQM things.

Will anyone join me in petitioning Congress to replace "In God We Trust" with "If the Country's Rockin', Don't Come A-Knockin'" on our money?