You want fun? Call the company (or companies) that handle your student loans and ask them for the payoff amount.

You want real fun? Do that and then send in the checks for that amount.

My bank account, swollen like Hasim Rahman's head, will soon shrink to the size of, uh, something with a tiny head.

OK, not my best metaphor, but you get where I'm going.

Truth be told, I've only gotten to ask about payoff amounts once. One lender provides it on their automated system (which, in other circumstances, seems cruel), while another loan actually lists the payoff on the bill so I can see my progress month to month. I do have one other loan I get to do this with, but it's not arrived just yet.

In any event, I will soon be debt-free (or debt really small). I thought I'd be old and grey before that happened.

Well, one out of two ain't bad.