The good folks over at TeeVee ran a piece today that used the Social Security Administration's list of the 1000 most popular baby names to try to explain the sudden popularity of the girl's name Madison. They posited it had to do with Daryl Hannah's character in Splash (one hopes it isn't related to the porn star of the same name). Which, of course, got me thinking about how other names wound up. To wit:

Shaquille: first appeared in 1991 at 743rd, peaked in 1993 at 185, fell off the chart completely after 1996.
Kobe: debuted at 567 in 1997, and hasn't been out of the top quarter since.

Wonder if that'll change now that it's been shown that Bryant can't get the Lakers wins.

Mia: at 353 in 1990, now in the top 100 at 77.
Nomar: not in the top 1000 at all since 1990.

Soccer moms are apparently more rabid than Sox fans. I'm actually not surprised.

The Simpsons: Homer, Marge, and Bart are nowhere to be found (even when using proper names). Lisa is slowly fading, while Maggie is slowly climbing. Many supporting characters aren't there, either. Supporting characters whose first names do rank in the top 1000 (aside from obvious ones like John Frink and Carl Carlson): Jasper, Edna, Waylon, Nelson, Abraham, Julius, Kodos (OK, I'm kidding about the last one).

Venus: not in the top 1000 ever
Serena: in the top quarter, in the top 1000 the entire decade.

Richard Williams is more powerful than we ever expected.

Randy: slipping towards 300, currently at 285.
Curt: not listed, but Curtis is in, and just ahead at 275.

I suppose I'd take the Cy Young over this.

Al: not there, but Albert is in and around the top quarter
George: slowly sliding towards 150 after spending most of the decade in the top 100.
Ralph: bottom half, consistently so
Pat: top 100 all decade, though falling.

Good thing this doesn't decide things. We've already had one President Buchanan, and wasn't that enough?

Annika: just got on the list at 990 in 1995, now at 357 after rising every year.

She's just not a power in the LPGA, apparently.

Adolph: no
Sadaam: no
Osama: no
Leona: no (think about it)
Benito: barely in at 985, a slow decline over the decade.

If you make the trains run on time, you're apparently forgiven your psychotic excesses.