So Bernard Cardinal Law is out as head of the Boston archdiocese. In for the moment is Bishop Richard Lennon, who was serving as rector of St. John's Seminary. The open question is who should get the job permanently. I have an idea.

Me.

I am Catholic, male, of Irish descent (not required but it helps around here), and a life-long resident of the area. I'm a genial yet no-nonsense administrator, maybe not so good with keeping my desk clear, but probably better at Law than seeing how having priests around who like to fondle kids could be a problem.

Admittedly, I'd be a non-traditional choice. I'm not a priest, monk, friar, or other clerical person. I am engaged to be married, and don't intend on changing those plans. I suppose that would preclude me from getting some sort of instant ordination (like they did way back when), but I'd be OK running the show without the title.

Heck, I'd even be happy splitting the job with Bishop Lennon. He can handle all the stuff I wouldn't be able to do, like say Mass, confer sacraments, etc., while I can take care of the other stuff.

To wit, the order of business when I get the job starts with these three things:

1. Settle all lawsuits. Should have done this before. It'll cost, but it would cost less than actually going to court or filing for bankruptcy (including cost to public opinion, prestige, etc.). The longer the media circus goes on, the less chance you have to start anew. I think of it as the penance required for decades of negligence.

2. Start getting people back on board. Not surprisingly, abuse charges have a way of driving people away. Work needs to be done to bring folks back into the fold. Getting out to talk to parishes, lay groups like Voice of the Faithful, and classes at Catholic schools would be one way to give parishoners a chance to address their fears in small groups with people who can effect change. Part in parcel of this would be verifying that the new policy regarding priests and abuse is solid.

3. Allow parishoners to stand during the Eucharist. When we were going to St. Ignatius over the summer of 2001, the parish allowed for either kneeling or standing during the Eucharist, noting that standing was consistent with early practice. I don't know if that's a diocese-wide policy, but if it isn't I'm making it so. Wouldn't be required (you could still kneel if you want to), but the way I look at it, standing simplifies the Mass by taking out one of the options. You either sit or stand. Also, at a time when there's a very modern scandal going about, it couldn't hurt to get back to some of the early traditions. Especially if they're this easy to initiate.

There are a number of issues I didn't touch on here, from priestly celibacy to abortion to ordination of women to the return to conservatism under John Paull II. I'm saving those for when I run for Pope.