We're recently returned from Hilton Head (well, we got in very early this morning, but you get my idea), and for you, a recap.

Saturday we drove to Hilton Head, which isn't as bad as it sounds given that there were seven available drivers between two cars. We spent the early part of the trip getting info about Hurricane Ophelia (which was then looking like it was going to hit somewhere in South Carolina), shifting later to baseball (the dreaded Y@nkees, given where we were going through).

We tried to stop for the night in Petersberg, Virginia, which proved problematic as NASCAR was up in Richmond. Rather than pay $159 for a Residence Inn or $90 for the shabbiest looking Days Inn I've ever seen, we continued down to Emporia, Virginia, where we found somewhere whose price to shadiness ratio was better.

Sunday we completed our drive, though not without getting lost a bit thanks to a missing street sign. We stayed at a timeshare that's part of the Port Royal Plantation, one of several former plantations that now serves as a resort, most often for golf. The timeshare is crammed into a lot on the plantation property, and is probably the least inspiring place we've stayed on one of these family vacations.

We noticed early on that navigating Hilton Head would be difficult, given that all the signs for businesses are at street level, of moderate size, and mutely colored. If you're into forest green, shades of brown, and gray, Hilton Head is the place for you. Also, most places are off the street, so you more often than not see where you need to go when you are right on top of it. Thankfully, the main roadway gives you ample opportunities for turning around.

Didn't do much upon arrival, just settled in.

Monday continued the settling, at least for me, as most of the group went shopping or played golf. I considered the latter, though it was for the best that I begged off - turns out the course had water on pretty much every hole, and I'd likely have lost a good dozen balls if I'd gone out.

Had dinner at the Hofbrauhaus, which I chose for the novelty if nothing else. Food was pretty good if a little pricey (another theme of Hilton Head), and sadly we were too early for the live music.

Tuesday was our day trip to Savannah, a city of considerable beauty and charm... located downwind from a paper mill.

We took a trolley tour around the city, which wasn't particularly edifying. It's really a city that calls for a good walking tour, especially if you have an interest in architecture or like to tour houses. The most instructive thing we did was go through the Savannah museum at the tourist info center and see their short movie, which suggested that James Oglethorpe learned the value of diversity - just well after his actual death.

Returning to Hilton Head, we went miniature golfing for some reason.

Wednesday started with a kayak tour in what the locals call a creek that is actually an inlet. We got to see dolphins (which I missed, lagging behind), oyster beds, heron, and various other fauna. It was a good way to spend part of the morning, and I never even felt like I was going to flip (the kayaks being smartly weighted to make capsizing nearly impossible).

In the afternoon I finally got out on the golf course, which I was going to recap Couture-style but can't get the table to display here properly. Suffice it to say that I was many, many shots over par. Even so, I did manage three legitimate par opportunities, none of which I converted (worst being a par 3 that turned into a 6). I can drive pretty well, have no feel for my irons or wedges, and apparently need obstacles to putt with any accuracy.

Thursday saw a lazy morning lead to a trip to Harbor Town and the Hilton Head lighthouse. Harbor Town is located in the Sea Pines Plantation, which costs $5 a car to drive into (a fact not noted in either of our guide books, underscoring the uselessness of both publications).

The lighthouse was underwhelming; rather than being built for the usual lighthouse purpose, it was constructed in 1969 to attract pleasure craft into the harbor and its shops. Those shops are priced for people who can afford to spend time cruising in pleasure craft, looking for marketing-constructed lighthouses to entice them.

This was easily the worst tourist-related outing we had all week.

Friday was even lazier than Thursday, as the heat continued to climb (into the high 90s). I passed on both shopping and the driving range, and didn't do much of anything except hit the library to check my email and such (not a bad library, but a little under-air conditioned for my taste). We had a dinner of trademark-dodging at the Pasta Garden and the Marble Slab Creamery (though the websites suggest that Marble Slab predates Coldstone).

Saturday we drove home in one shot, which I wasn't crazy about but the sister-in-law and her boyfriend had to get back as they had Sox tickets for today (which isn't exactly working out for them, as the A's are currently leading 12-3).

The drive home was about as interesting as the drive down. The Carolinas are incredibly boring, with only the South of the Border billboards to break things up in their inane and vaguely racist way. Virginia isn't much better, but you do go through Richmond and skirt Washington DC.

Maryland reminds me that I have to apologize to Delaware. While their $7 in tolls is a lot for the 25 miles or so you drive on a round-trip drive along I-95, Maryland whacks you for $5 when driving northwards. At least when you get robbed of $6 on the George Washington Bridge, you get to actually cross the bridge and feel like you've paid for its upkeep and the view of the city. The Maryland toll just feels like you're lining the pocket of various elected officials.

New York's stretch of I-95 is the worst of the lot, from the congestion to the absolutely screwed up roadworks that have been going on for at least a decade between the Cross-Bronx Expressway and the New York Thruway toll. Complain all you want about the Big Dig, it's at least made obvious progress. The roadworks in New York just look like they've been moving lanes around on a whim.

Anyway, we got back very early this morning, and are happy to be back, work tomorrow notwithstanding. I don't forsee us going back to Hilton Head any time soon.