I promised you a run down of TV Guide's 50 worst shows of all time, so here it is. I know you were waiting on tenterhooks!

My general observation about the list is that it seems to focus less on the truly worst shows than a combination of shows that combine lack of quality with a better cachet with the viewing public.

As much as it pains me to say it, I don't agree that The Jerry Springer Show is the worst TV show of all time. Should it be on the list? Certainly. But Springer has a knowing sense of its own lack of worth that other shows don't. Jenny Jones prattles on about the difference her show makes, even though it's best known for killing a guy. You could say the same of Ricki, Maury, and the dear departed Sally Jesse. None of them quite let the wall come down and admit that they're playing to the basest interest. Jerry does. For that he does deserve a place on the list. Just not the top one.

Should the XFL take the third spot? Production values were low, broadcast teams ill suited for football, and the product didn't live up to hype (to everyone's shock and chagrin). But was it worse than a variety show starring the Brady Bunch? Or a bunch of corn-fed yokels featuring Kathie Lee Gifford? Or worse than Celebrity Boxing, a show that put non-athletes (that's including the Fridge and Manute) into bouts that were fixed (sources indicate taping of several different endings)? The XFL, as far as we can tell, featured current athletes in non-fixed situations.

The biggest problem with the list is the show in fifth place - Hogan's Heroes. You can attack the show on several levels- it makes light of war, trivializes the Nazis, and so on. These would be good arguments- if the series was in any way meant to look at World War II in a meaningful way. The show was as knowing in its way as Springer. And would two men affected by the Holocaust- Robert Clary and Werner Klemperer- be involved in the show if they thought it demeaned their struggles? One would have to think they were happy to play the Nazis for chumps.

It's escapist humor all the way, and still provides chuckles today. This show shouldn't be on the list.

Hello, Larry at 12 is high. The show, one of McLean Stevenson's many post-MASH projects, is probably his best in that line. Not that it's high praise. The story of a single dad raising daughters while working on an AM station in Portland, Oregon, it combined domestic and topical humor (such as the older daughter's IUD use leading to an infection). The show is clearly better than Condo (perhaps his worst show, a mishmash of racial and cultural "humor"), In the Beginning, and the TV version of Dirty Dancing. Hello Larry makes the list because it's the best known of the group.

Twenty-One is most likely on the list due to the Charles van Doren scandal. The lame revival didn't help, either. But it's not 13th worst. It's better than most of the shows on the list, more deserving of something in the 40s. Or a trade with Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire, which should be much higher on moral grounds alone.

Notably absent is any of the twaddle that's tried to fill the 8:30 Thurday time slot on NBC over the last few years. No The Single Guy or Union Station or Jesse or Inside Schwartz. All of which were worse than, say, Life with Lucy, The Ropers, or even Unhappily Every After (with sincere thanks to Nikki Cox's decolletage).

Other shows that don't seem to fit the list:

Howard Stern and The Tom Green Show Neither show caters to a mainstream audience, and Stern is hampered by trying to convert a radio show into a visual medium. But both hit upon a level of humor in America that clearly exists, even if it's not the level of folks who get all of the New Yorkercartoons (at least not admittedly).

I don't personally care for either Stern or Green, but think that they've redefined comedy in their own ways, and their shows probably would get the average person to laugh more than, say, Working or Fired Up.

Holmes and Yoyo Cop with bad luck in partners gets mated up with an android. It was out there for a 1970s show, but at least it wasn't all preachy (I'm looking at you, Quincy!).

Pink Lady... and Jeff Jeff Altman hosts, Pink Lady (a pair of Japanese women) sings, and no one understands each other. Jim Varney appears in a number of comedy sketches. It's train wreck funny, which I suppose means it should be a bottom 50 show, but can't think that this would be there and Susan and Mel Together, another incomprehensible pairing (but with two people- Susan Anton and Mel Tillis- who speak the same language... to a point), isn't.

Makin' It The greatest sitcom about roller disco ever. OK, this really does belong, but I watched this show a lot. Don't know why, exactly. I didn't roller skate, disliked disco, and couldn't identify with the family all that much. But Ellen Travolta can play a sitcom mother to perfection. Maybe that was it.

I suppose I should argue for The Flying Nun, but I can't. I really never cared for the show.

Other shows present an almost theological problem, in that arguing for or against them is a matter of such fine degree that it's almost pointless. I'm thinking here of shows like She's the Sheriff, A.K.A. Pablo, Rango, Co-ed Fever, shows whose general lack of quality makes them hard to distinguish from other bad shows that didn't make the list and which, thankfully, are receding into memory.

Barney, however, seems like the perfect capper.