Parmalat frightens me.

For those of you who've not encountered it, Parmalat is milk that's been stabilized so it can be sold on the market shelves alongside sodas and juices, without refrigeration.

There's something oddly unnerving about milk that doesn't need to be kept cold. It'd be like selling boxed salad next to breakfast cereals or raw meat next to canned tuna. It's just not right!

I'm sure there was a whole board room of corpulent Franco-Swiss food industrialists who laughed themselves silly thinking of how the average American would react to this. In some ways, I'm not fully sure this isn't some sort of European joke, like the Maginot Line or the metric system.

One of the few things I remember about all the books I read as a kid was whenever the protagonist was in Europe, they couldn't find a cold drink anywhere on the Continent. Everything was room temperature, and you'd have an easier time springing Albert Speer from Spandau than getting a glass with ice in it.

I bring this up because Sarah bought a bunch of Parmalat milk boxes (like juice boxes) to take with her lunch. I should be happy that she's getting her calcium, but I worry that we're on a path that will bring Museli, Nutella, and the like into our pantry. She thinks I'm over-reacting, and I probably am, but I've still got a nagging thought that this is all part of some EU plot.

In a completely unrelated matter, it was nice to see the Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin special on TV again. I miss those specials, especially as they were a nice break on holidays you didn't expect, like the specials for Thanksgiving and Veterans Day. Then there's the Davey and Goliath Easter special, where Davey's grandmother dies. I understand it was to reinforce the idea of resurrection and eternal life with God, but that's pretty damn heavy for a kid's program.

And on that subject, should I ever become President, my first act will be to introduce legislation requiring that the Grinch Who Stole Christmas must be shown on free TV, and not controlled by cable networks. Ted Turner be damned.