The folks over at TV Guide ran a list of their top 50 shows of all time in their last issue. Making lists like this only seem to serve two purposes: to sell magazines and ignite arguments. As we've been getting the mag for free for some reason (they seem to think Sarah renewed her subscription, which she didn't), we're beating the former. The latter purpose, of course, is why I bring this up at all.

Herewith are my problems with the list (with TV Guide rating in parentheses).

Slumming in the Penthouse

Seinfeld (1) - It may say something that a show ostensibly about nothing captured the cultural zeitgeist of the 1990s. I mean, really, what from that decade will we be pining for when the current decade ends?

I do like the show, could certainly see it as a top 10 show for its impact on culture at the time, but there's a faddish quality at work here. When was the last time you heard someone talk about man hands, close talkers, or sponge worthiness? Where dropping Seinfeld references was once expected, doing so now almost labels you as being stuck in the past.

And let's not forget the Seinfeld curse, dooming the former co-stars and even supporting characters (even Estelle Harris, who played George's mom, based on her appearance in a Glad Ware ad where she looks like a zombie clown). Jerry Stiller is a survivor if nothing else.

I Love Lucy (2) - This may be more of a personal preference thing, as I'm not a huge fan of the show. I'm well aware of its place in TV history, but there's a certain amount of repetitiveness that annoys me. Lucy's anguished wail is funny - once or twice. After that, it's like a cry for help. That about a third of the episodes seem to deal with Lucy's attempts to join Ricky at the club doesn't help, either.

But for its development of the sticom style, and for bringing pregnancy to TV (albeit without being able to actually say the word "pregnant"), I can see Lucy ranking highly. Now if William Frawley and Vivian Vance, who played Fred and Ethel Mertz, actually allowed their off-screen hate for each other to spill into the show, we could be talking number one or two.

The Sopranos (5) - More of a gut feeling that based on actual viewership, as I've only seen a half of an episode (for what it's worth, I did like it). Kind of a too much, too soon feeling, almost like it'd be unhip to not include it on the list. But I could very well be wrong.

Someone's Got Something on Rupert

I have no idea why these shows are on the list at all.

Today (17) - The foundation of infotainment, progenitor of shows from Dateline to Access Hollywood (both NBC productions to boot!).
thirtysomething (19) - Please push me in front of a bus if I'm ever as whiny and self-absorbed as the characters on this show.
Frasier (34) - It's not a bad show, but top 50 all-time? They overused the Niles-Daphne thing, and hooking up Frasier and Roz is pretty desperate. It was actually a better workplace comedy, a scary thought given the abuse that genre's taken.
The Oprah Winfrey Show (49) - Apparently, Oprah's repackaging as Earth mother for the 21st century worked. They don't seem to remember when Oprah was as shallow as all the other talk shows. I imagine they didn't want to piss off the soccer moms.

The Replacements

Right niche, wrong show.

Prime time medical drama: Ben Casey for ER (22) - ER got the nod for its frenetic pacing and supposed ability to transpose it with the downer lives of the ER staff. The show's tendency to throw plot arcs at viewers out of the blue (Mark Greene's a racist! Kerry Weaver's a lesbian!), not to mention the over-use of that pacing, aren't discussed. I'd opt in Ben Casey given its prime place in fostering the young turk partnered with old hand dramatic construct- one ER aped with Benton and Carter.

That, and Casey's opening: "Man. Woman. Birth. Death. Infinity." So cool.

1990s NBC cop show: Homicide: Life on the Street for Law & Order (23) - L&O is a good show, and probably deserving to be on the list. But if forced to choose one or the other, Homicide is a hands down winner. Better acting (I'll take Andre Braugher over anyone on L&O, though even the lamest assistant DA is better than Jon Seda), better writing (L&O is using "ripped from the headlines" as a crutch), and more interesting visuals (not even close).

PBS non-fiction: Nova for An American Family (32) - Nova makes science and related issues palatable for the masses, accessible without becoming pointless. Family seems like it was included for being a quality reality show, but given that it was made 25 years before the current crop, I'd say it was more of a quirky anamoly than anything else.

Detective playing against type: Magnum PI for The Rockford Files (39)- I actually really like Rockford, but like Magnum more. Rockford is more of the anti-hero, the man whose fight for justice often requires him to take a punch in the mouth or spend a night in jail. But Magnum is the more interesting character, thanks to the way they slowly revealed bits about his time in Vietnam. Magnum's got a better supporting cast, too. I'd take Higgins over anyone else on Rockford.

Living long and prospering: Star Trek for Star Trek: The Next Generation (46) - I like Picard better than Kirk. And the effects in the original were bad. But I have hard time thinking that Next Gen is the better Trek. The original dealt with topical issues in a less obvious way than Next Gen, and the tension between the crew and the various aliens was more palpable- even against the Borg, you never really feared for the new Enterprise crew.

The first couple seasons of Next Gen were pretty touch and go, story-wise. And there's that matter of Wesley Crusher, too.

Promotion

Shows that should be higher than actually listed.

Taxi (48), Rocky and His Friends (47), The Bob Newhart Show (44), The Fugitive (36), Your Show of Shows (30), The Twilight Zone (26), MASH (25), The Ed Sullivan Show (15), The Dick Van Dyke Show (13), The Simpsons (8).

Relegation

Shows that should be ranked at least 5 points lower.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show (11), The Carol Burnett Show (16), Friends (21), Donahue (29), Roseanne (35), The X Files (37), Gunsmoke (40).

I'd add Bewitched, but that would actually push it off the chart, it being in 50th place.

Remember These?

Shows that should be on the list but aren't... though I'm not sure who they'd replace.

The Odd Couple - The first show to really examine the aftermath of divorce. Just in a really funny way.
Get Smart - Maybe seen as too silly, but it's the sort of sitcom we still don't see today.
The Avengers - Certainly during the Diana Rigg years. And you shouldn't hold the lack of money against the Honor Blackmon episodes. Linda Thorson you can keep.
The Prisoner - I know, no one gets it, but people think they sound smart by bringing it up. But you'd be hard-pressed to name a series that approached the nature of freedom in such a unique way.
Monty Python's Flying Circus - Yes, let's get all of the British shows out of the way now. I'll even throw in Fawlty Towers. But I think the Circus was better, and still funnier than 90% of the current sitcoms.
Victory at Sea - US Navy propaganda aside, this early documentary series manages to make the sea battles of World War II tense- even though we already know what happens.

Like I said, such a list is pretty much meant to be argument fodder. Hope I've met TV Guide's expectations.