Every time I've gone to lunch over the last week or so, I've been hearing the same songs over and over. I think the dining hall's been on 98.5, and they've got some sort of noon countdown show, so between that and the constant repitition of the other dining hall fave, KISS-108, the fact that I keep hearing these songs is no surprise.

The problem is that one of the songs is always "Underneath Your Clothes" by Shakira. This could be the worst Top 40 song since, well, a good half dozen of the songs still on the Hot 100 (nominations include "All You Wanted" by Michelle Branch, "A New Day Has Come" by Celine Dion, and to show that I'm not just picking on the women, "Hero" By Enrique Iglesias, which is too whiny for my taste).

I have to admit to being a little mystified at Shakira's popularity. OK, I'm not completely mystified, as the same forces that gave us Britney, Christina, and the like, are at play here. She also manages to combine the powers of Jennifer Lopez and Charo as far as shaking her rump goes. Shakira is reasonably attractive, but no more so than the average flavor of the week pop star/WB actress/centerfold.

Her music, meanwhile, is also of the same forces of Britney, Christina, et. al., in that it only involves caterwalling into the microphone as much as possible, hitting notes be damned. It doesn't help Shakira that the lyrics to "Underneath Your Clothes" sound like they were written by a Hallmark writer on acid. To wit:

You're a song
Written by the hands of God
Don't get me wrong 'cuz
This might sound to you a bit odd
But you own the place
Where all my thoughts go hiding
And right under your clothes
Is where I find them


My understanding is that Shakira writes her own songs, and these verses would seem to confirm that.

I suppose it's only a matter of time before Shakira winds up playing a lascivious nun on a telenovela, but until that time I may just have to eat lunch at my desk.