Had the chance to watch a goodly portion of today's Williams-Sharapova semi at Wimbeldon. It may have been the loudest tennis match I've ever watched. At one point an official requested quiet from the crowd, which made the NBC commentators chuckle given that neither woman would likely hear the chatter over their own grunting.

Somewhere, Melanie Hutsell weeps.

I don't watch as much tennis now as I used to, and I think it's related to something Sports Illustrated noted recently: the death of the serve-and-volley player. With all the baseline play, matches take on a certain Pong-like quality. And really, Pong isn't much of a game for spectating.

I know there are a couple of tennis fans among the (semi)-regular readership here. Thoughts from them are welcome, even if it is just to tell me I'm talking out of my blowhole.

Unrelated to tennis, I was amused by recent news that a guy in California wants the town of Weare, New Hampshire to seize Supreme Court Justice David Souter's farm house so the man can turn it into an inn - the Lost Liberty Inn. The inn will also reportedly feature the Just Desserts Cafe and an informational display on the loss of freedom in America. Just in case you didn't get the point from the name of the inn.

Sadly, I don't think Weare is close enough to anything to make the project enough of an economic gain to warrant the seizure. The town isn't all that close to the major ski areas or lakes to bring in the outdoor crowd. I suppose it's reasonably close to Concord, which might bring in folks who have business in the capital but want to avoid the hustle and bustle.

Entering the town into Citysearch brings back the closest attraction as Santa's Land USA. Which is in Putney, Vermont. Almost 40 miles away. The other two attractions that came back are located in Amesbury and Concord, Massachusetts.

Something tells me that the Weare Chamber of Commerce hasn't quite caught up with the Internet.

In any case, this officially makes Souter the Zeppo of the Supreme Court.

As odd as the saga of Robert Kraft's Super Bowl ring is (my theory: Putin pocketed it thinking it was a bribe), leave it to the folks in northern New England to raise the bar.

A Maine man was arrested in New Hampshire yesterday for peeping at women while they were going the bathroom. What makes this odd is the man's vantage point - inside the toilet. It was apparently some sort of latrine-like fixture big enough for him to hunker down in (rather than going the Moaning Myrtle route, which would have made it hard for the authorities to apply handcuffs).

Now if we could just have gotten Vermont into the story...

An article on Yahoo noted that we are in the midst of the greatest movie box office slump in history (so to speak), as we've now gone something like 17 or 18 weekends in a row where ticket sales failed to better those of the same weekend of the previous year. While theories abound as to why this is happening, I do have a theory.

IT COSTS TOO DAMN MUCH TO SEE MOVIES IN THE THEATER.

Or, perhaps more accurately:

IT COSTS TOO DAMN MUCH TO SEE THE MOVIES WE'RE BEING OFFERED IN THE THEATER.

Why, for example, am I going to shell out $10 to see something like Bewitched in the theater when I can bide my time and see it for less than half of that (or less than a quarter if you consider I'd be seeing it with the wife) in the comfort of my own home. I can even use Netflix or on demand services to make the viewing experience that much more convenient.

(That being said, Bewitched still made over $20 million this weekend.)

I'm more likely to see "event" movies in the theater, but even then I've learned from past experience that they are likely going to disappoint me, so I'm only going to see a select few of them.

And let's not even get into the gougetastic world of movie concessions. I now pay more for popcorn and a soda than I did to get a movie ticket not all that long ago. That's not helping to being me into the theater.

I don't know if the only answer is lower prices, but I tend to think that'd be a good start.

So when the mercury starts climbing towards triple digits (the car thermometer hit 99 at one point today), what do you do to keep cool?

You go pick strawberries.

We made an impromptu stop at Russell Orchards in Ipswich while taking a drive to nowhere. I'd not been there in roughly 30 years and one owner ago, going back to a kindergarten or first grade field trip of scant memory. I didn't even know they did strawberries there, though as you can tell from the website they grow quite a variety of produce. I don't think they did back in the day.

In any case, the wife has fond strawberry picking memories (as opposed to the forced labor of blueberry raking), so we decided to stop in. It was a bit warm for the walk out to the fields (for some reason we bypassed the tractor ride out), but we did get a couple of nice quarts. Much better than the agribusiness-developed berries, and you get the chance for some pre-sale sampling.

Not that I did that. No siree.

In any event, if you're ever in the neighborhood it's worth a stop. Though you may want to wait for cooler temps.

Two things I like:

Sunshowers Got caught in one yesterday, and it was pretty cool. At an earlier point, though, it was more of a sundownpour. I would not have liked that.

The March of the Penguins A new film from Warner Independent and National Geographic that follows the mating cycle of the emperor penguins. Given what they go through, it's hard to believe they've not been wiped out yet. I know if humans had to walk for a week to get to the mating area, go for four months without food, and spend winter huddled together outside while holding their future young between their legs and on top of their feet, the earth would belong to the dolphins.

Morgan Freeman narrates, which didn't hurt, either.

Two things I don't like:

Jimmy Buffett He's here for his annual run of shows, and every radio station that'd even possibly play his stuff was crapping themselves about it. I don't mind the occasional encounter with "Cheeseburger in Paradise" or "Margaritaville," but the whole Parrothead thing is a little befuddling. If that lifestyle is so appealing, move to the Keys already.

"Hollaback Girl" After running across this song at least a dozen times between here and Maine last weekend (I stopped counting at 12), this becomes the first song since high school that I've officially considered overplayed. No mean feat given how little I listen to the radio.

The other problem, of course, is that the song is awful. But it's also awful popular; looks like I'm playing the iPod in the car for now.

Cavalcade of Questionable Decisions

Brought to you by Bad Idea Jeans: "I didn't use protection, but I figure, 'Hey, when am I getting back to Haiti?'"

I'll Never Use the Guest Bathrooms Again

An artist has attempted to make a wry statement on Italian politics and prime minister Silvio Berlusconi by making a bar of soap out of fat removed from the PM during a liposuction procedure in Switzerland.

According to the artist, Gianni Motti:

Berlusconi had face lifting and liposuction operations in a clinic in Lugano, where I have good connections that provided me with some of the fat. It was jelly-like and it stunk horribly, like butter gone off or old chip pan oil.

I came up with the idea because soap is made of pig fat, and I thought how much more appropriate it would be if people washed their hands using a piece of Berlusconi.

Those of you who've always dreamed of attending to personal hygeine using materials made from leaders of G8 nations can obtain the Berlusconi Bar for roughly $17,000.

(Special thanks to Laura DeVeau for the heads up.)

Bad sense of direction? Let's send him camping!

Brennan Hawkins, an 11 year-old who is described by his parents as having a bad sense of direction, was located five days after wandering off at a Boy Scout camp in Utah. He apparently got lost while walking down a dirt road. I suppose he was confused not having the middle yellow line to follow.

Seriously, I'm glad he's OK, but when he does attend his first Boy Scout meeting let's get him some basic hiking training before he actually does meander into a snowmelt-engorged waterway.

I hope no one watches Question Time on CSPAN-2

Senator Joe Biden of Delaware is talking about making a run at the Presidency in 2008. While his 30 year Senate tenure and position as ranking Democrat on the Senate Foreign Relations committee are selling points, his failed 1988 run, which ended when he was caught using quotes from British politician Neil Kinnock without attributing them, will likely come up again at some point.

He's given himself to the end of the year to decide. He also has to decide if he'll run for re-election to the Senate, which may save the Dems the grief of calling him out on plagarizing from a Laborite who couldn't unseat Margaret Thatcher. He at least could have stolen from a winner.

One channel and nothing on

If you tuned in to NBC tonight to watch Katie Couric interview the "runaway bride," grab a fondue fork and jam the pointy part into your left eyeball. Then remove it, and jam it into your right eyeball. Twice.

If you followed that up by watching the Hilton mere's new show, well, I can't say too much as I was asked to tape it for future viewing. You may pity or mock me as you wish.

But they at least get all the animal testicles they can eat

The Writer's Guild of America wants to get writers and other staffers from unscripted TV into unionized contracts, saying that work on those shows requires longer hours and results in less pay and no benefits for those who toil to bring us such fare as Average Joe: The Joes Strike Back and the aforementioned Hilton production (which wouldn't be the first time a Hilton business venture made money off of exploiting non-union labor, I'd have to think).

The guild called used the term "telecommunications sweatshop" to describe working conditions on unscripted programming. One can only hope that, like call centers, these shows get outsourced to India or somewhere similarly distant. Look for Aishwarya Rai to star in Dancing With the Stars 2: Revenge of the Frug.

I suppose it'd be a good thing to make it more known that reality programming is actually highly structured and not, as I like to refer to the genre, unscripted. On the other hand, it may be the impetus for the networks to show even more cheaply made footage, like security camera tapes or PAX originals.

So much for going Hollywood

Winn Dixie, the supermarket chain whose name graced a recent movie featuring, among others, Dave Matthews (something for the haters to latch on to), announced that iwas closing over 300 stores and giving the pink slip to 22,000 workers in a post-bankruptcy re-organization.

Even though they filed for bankruptcy protection in February, they managed to land at number 182 on the 2005 Fortune 500 list. A kid with a well-sited lemonade stand could apparently crack the top 100.

We can only hope that the Piggly Wiggly is safe, to forestall a good haunting by Jessica Tandy.

Oh, and we can have swimming in the East River

In an attempt to revive its flagging Olympic bid, New York City announced that they'd replace plans for a Manhattan-based Olympic stadium with a Queens-based venue that would eventually replace Shea Stadium. Assuming they can get any concrete from the new Yankee Stadium project.

If this does come to pass, can you imagine what John Rocker will say about the 7 train?

All bidding cities pitched to African IOC delegates looking for support. Paris officials noted that they should get support given "long-standing relations between France and Africa." Which included owning most of west Africa, a bloody colonial war in Algeria, and a popular rightist political party that would like to deport anyone who currently lives in France who is more cafe au lait in skin tone than peche.

London reps noted that they'd use temporary venues that could be donated to African countries after the Games, while Madrid supporters noted an Olympics there would be the closest held to that continent ever. Even though for it being so close, they might as well be on Neptune. Moscow, at least, didn't try to fashion some rationale for African support like "You like our guns" or "We thought enough of you to use you as proxies during the Cold War." For that alone they'd get my vote.

Up to Maine this weekend, not much to report from it. Had a bit of a family cookout last night, which allowed me to sample a fine locally-produced beverage or two.

We did stop to eat at the Friendly's in Augusta, and got to see a very strange selection of restaurant art. There were a variety of New England scenes - beaches, lighthouses, harbors, etc. - and in each there was a Friendly's product trying to look like it belongs there. I've never seen a Happy Ending Sundae walking along the brick townhouses of Beacon Hill, but I now know what that might look like.

Got to end the day checking out my sister in law's new apartment, which was fine except for the round trip on the Southeast Expressway. I hate that road. I would rather run my left arm through a wood chipper than drive that regularly. Makes it a good thing that I don't live on the South Shore. We also stopped for dinner at Polcari's, a local institution for Italian food that has a location on Route 1. It was OK, the glacial service being its biggest downfall. I can only imagine how slow it would have been if it were busy.

Be careful what you wish for: after complaining about the heat being in the 90s to start the week, we are likely not heading out of the 50s today. Expect snow for the weekend, then a month of three-digit temps and crippling drought. Frogs to follow for the last week of July.

More irritating, though, is the teacher who tells their students that the work they'll be assigned when the sub is in won't be collected. You might as well give them a free pass to do whatever they want. On the plus side, the impending finals period did give many of these kids something to do, even if it wasn't the assignment I had for them.

Can someone get me the section of the California penal code that calls for not guilty charges in cases involving famous people? It's a little flabbergasting that between OJ, Robert Blake and Jacko there's not a single conviction on any charge, felony or misdemeanor.

I suppose Winona Ryder's case suggests a lack of application if your transgression is actually captured on video.

Not that I was expecting Jacko to do time, but I thought he'd get hit with one of the misdemeanor charges.

I've also been struck with some of the juror comments, which suggest that juror nullifaction is now a self-starting process. I heard more about the alleged victim's mother than I did about evidence.

For reasons I still can't explain I watched the verdict come down on CNN. Wolf Blitzer tried to instill some fake meaning into Jacko's arrival at the courthouse by getting everyone to shut up and listen to the reaction of the arrival. All we got was some guy repeatedly yelling, "M! J! IN! NO! CENT!"

I can smell the Peabody Award from here.

Wolf didn't help himself by accidentally identifying LaToya as Janet. Should we be concerned that LaToya apparently had her nose re-done to look like Michael's? And that it looks a little, uh, snout-like on her?

I had recent posts by Cooch and Craig collide today, as I got to experience our instant summer in several sweltering classrooms at the lyric bandbox that is my high school alma mater today.

(To be honest, the school is much less like the lyric bandbox of Fenway than the upholstered toilet that was Foxboro Stadium. Both were built on the cheap and in a hurry, and had resultant issues in their decades of operations. Sadly, people still have to face the issues at my high school.)

Given all the jerking around going on about building a new high school, I think a conclave to settle the matter, taking place in the room where I got to spend sixth and seventh periods, would wind up with a result within 24 hours.

I'd subbed for this teacher before, and can say without hesitation that the students seem more happy about this teacher's absence than any other that I've subbed for. There is one other teacher who is close, and not surprisingly they share several students. I leave what this says about the teachers - and the students - as an exercise for the reader.

And when I was done in the sauna, I got to the car and noticed that it had changed from its silvery-gray color to more of a yellow-green. The trees I'd parked under are apparently dropping pollen now. Given the wife's reaction to tree pollen earlier in the year, I then got to hose the car off in the heat, which worked out OK when the wind was right.

We also gave in to the heat and bought an air conditioner, which is working pretty well. The bedroom is nicely cooled, and while it's a small one it does help keep the temps down a bit in the rest of the apartment. I'm actually comfortable in the front room, which in heat like this is unusual. Two cheers for cheap small appliances!

A couple of personal shout-outs:

* Welcome back to Scott Monty, on his first post in over three months. Even if it is more of his reactionary claptrap. :)

* Congrats to the Michigan softball team for bringing the NCAA title to the Eastern time zone. I got to see a few games in the WCWS (including about half of last night's title game), and was highly entertained. Considering that college softball is pulling ratings similar to NHL regular season games on ESPN, I expect to see more of the former, even if we eventually get the latter back.

An added shout-out here to Burger and all the other Michiganders whose strong (rabid?) interest in the WCWS got me watching.

Proving once again that there is no limit to the things I'll talk about without actually being right, it appears that the New York City bid to host the 2012 Summer Olympics is dead. My prediction that they'd win dies with it.

Technically the bid is still alive, but the odds that NYC will win are nil given that plans for an Olympic stadium on the west side of Manhattan have fallen through. This also impacts the New York Jets, who were going to be regular tenants. Not that I care about them so much.

I imagine that New Yorkers are both saddened and elated at this result; they don't get to be even more of the world's focus, but they also get to avoid the seven year disruption that would come from hosting.

Articles about the process suggest that it's down to London and Paris. I suppose I'm rooting for London given the technical feasibility of going and staying with Sarah's relatives, though if I couldn't get to Salt Lake, what are the odds that I'm getting across the Atlantic, even with seven years to plan. Now if the Crowleys are still in Vancouver in 2010...

There's something that sits oddly between GM's "employee discount" sales offer and their announcement of major layoffs. I'm not sure if it has something to do with the company making more individuals who can enjoy the discount without having to get a check every week, or the strange feeling that, as someone who can now get this discount, GM may have some control over firing me.

Either way, I can't imagine the proximity of both announcements is something the PR types are thrilled with.

Got to spend the weekend in Chicago helping out at the NAQT High School National Championship Tournament, which was a good mix of quizbowl excitement and seeing friends. Most notable tournament moment was watching the eventual champs put up 885 points in a playoff game. For those of you who don't play, top teams will generally score in the 300 to 400 point range. So 885 is pretty mind-bending, especially in a playoff against another top team.

Quick recap, outside of tournament stuff:

Friday saw me fly ATA to Midway. It was the first time I'd flown ATA since a Florida-bound charter a good decade to 15 years ago. It's a little less sketchy now, and given the code-share agreement I do get a distinct cousin to Southwest vibe.

I'd flown into Midway under the impression that the tournament site was nearby. Turns out it was actually near O'Hare. Thus ends the lesson on actually reading information before making flight plans. I thus got to ride the CTA from one airport to the other. It's a pretty easy ride (one well-marked line change), but a long one (in the 75 to 90 minute range). On the plus side, I got to see a lot of the city (the trip takes you from the south into the Loop and then up to the northwest) and knocked out a goodly chunk of Dark Tide, a very interesting volume on the Boston Molasses Flood.

Mostly did tournament stuff Friday night, but did cap it with a trip to Superdawg, which you should build into your itinerary if you visit Chicago.

Saturday was pretty much all tournament during the day. Night entertainment was taking in the second game of the Calder Cup finals, pitting the Chicago Wolves against the Philadelphia Phantoms. For what is currently the highest level of professional hockey in this country, the game was awful. Philly won in the second OT, but we'd left after the first. My personal game highlight was seeing former BU player Freddy Meyer plying his trade with the Phantoms. He did not have a game to remember, picking up four penalties, including a cheap shot at a Chicago player as they were going off ice and a closing the hand on the puck.

The game was followed by another trip to Superdawg.

Sunday had the playoff portion of the tournament, which I only worked for the first three rounds. I spent a lot of time hanging out, talking a bit, reading, and catching the end of the French Open men's singles. Nadal is primed for stardom, but he has to lose the Capri pants.

Mid-afternoon saw me back to the CTA and back out to Midway. The flight back to Boston was delayed an hour or so due to weather. Once in Boston we were delayed on the taxiway when an idiot decided to get up and use the bathroom just after landing. When repeated requests from the flight crew for people to remain seated with belts fastened didn't register, something happened that hadn't happened to me since the third grade.

The pilot pulled the plane over to the side of the road.

OK, not literally, but the pilot did stop and explain that we were cleared to dock but couldn't if everyone wasn't seated. And as there was a guy in the can, we were going to sit tight until he decided to join the rest of us in the main cabin. That finally did the trick. Idiot.

So while this was my longest trip to Chicago to date, I still have only seen most of the city in passing. I really need to stop making this a "one of these days" sort of thing.