I'm going to hell: I'm about to wax snarky about a funeral.

I went to a funeral today for a family member on the wife's side who I'd never met. Unfortunately, the minister presiding over the funeral had never met him, either, and said as much during his opening remarks. In total, his remarks had an unorganized feel that made me wonder if he'd been called in late to sub for the funeral home's regular minister.

The first five minutes or so also included an inordinate amount of information about the preacher himself, leading me to wonder if he was running for office. He also jumped from his self-referential remarks to reading the obituary (or parts of the obituary) to other remarks given to him (I assume) by family. Some of those remarks, such as the one that referred to the deceased as a puppet master (not sure if that term was used or not, but "pulling the strings" was), seemed unusal to start with, never mind including them in the eulogy.

And while it's been remarked in a kind of kidding fashion in some areas, noting that it was at least good timing for a Red Sox fan to pass after they'd won the World Series is not something best done in actual funeary circumstances. Asking the mourners for a show of hands to find other Sox fans is similarly problematic.

Part of the problem, perhaps, was that we weren't vocal enough. More than once the minister said that whatever sentiment he'd recently voiced would have gotten an amen from the deceased had he been with us. That none of us felt moved enough to do so may have made all of us seem lacking.

Towards the end of the service, a family member sang "Amazing Grace," but was unable to finish the last stanza as she'd started to cry. The rest of us pitched in and sang, perhaps the first touching moment of the entire event. The preacher then returned to the podium and had all of us sing the song again. It's a fine hymn, but that seemed like overkill.

So my three pieces of advice should you ever get called in to officiate a funeral on short notice:

1. Make a quick outline of the service so you don't jump around like you tried to cure your ADHD with a handful of No-Doz.

2. Try not to elicit biographical and genealogical information about the family during the service. Take a second to sort out who is who beforehand.

3. If you really are trying to comfort the bereaved, try not to say things like "I wish you had called me so I could have met him while he was alive." They may feel guilty after you say that.

So the last headline on Yahoo comes through once in a while - it's currently reporting that Sammy Sosa is about to be traded to Baltimore. Because, really, the Orioles need a 36 year old outfielder whose offensive number have fallen in every category (except doubles, go figure) every year since 2001. I suppose I shouldn't complain, as if the numbers hold to form it'll play to the Red Sox's advantage.

Interesting to note that the union is OK with Sosa voiding his 2006 salary (which a trade would make a guaranteed $18 million), given their problems last year with A-Rod taking a pay cut if he went to the Red Sox. I assume it has something to do with where Sosa is in his career; teams are more likely to employ an aging slugger if they don't have to pay him a small fortune. The more baseball-savvy out there are more than welcome to provide further explanation or correct me as needed.

UPDATE: MLB.com is now saying that the Cubs GM is denying that a deal is in place with Baltimore. He does say that serious talks occurred with several teams. Most interesting: Washington (who could use a marquee name) and KC (where Sosa would be making more than the rest of the team combined, I think).

I love the last headline spot on the front page of Yahoo. Where else would I learn that more musicians than ever are playing live gigs, and that SpongeBob's creator offficially declared the character's asexuality?

Really, that headline spot is worthy of a blog like the dearly departed Amazon World. Or maybe Amazon World needs to make a comeback. Either way.

Yeah, the Oscars. Have I seen any of these movies? No. In fact, based on the reminder list I've only seen six of the movies open for consideration. And, to be honest, none of them were especially award-worthy. Not Seed of Chucky unworthy, but nothing special, either. Clearly, I need to work on spending my movie dollars more wisely.

There was a time when I made a point to see all the Best Picture nominated films before the awards were given. I've not done that in some time. In fact, the last year for which I've seen all the nominated films, in the theater or not, was 1997 (for the 1998 ceremony - Titanic, As Good as it Gets, The Full Monty, Good Will Hunting, and LA Confidential). Still, I've usually seen about half of the nominated films, at least until now.

Not sure why the change, though living near movie theaters definately helps. When I was at BU there was almost always a theater within walking distance (not to mention the dear departed Nickelodeon, which was on campus). Then again, 1998 was the year I moved back to Boston, and my viewing habits dropped off anyway.

The good news, I suppose, is that there is a second-run house around the corner from where we live now. Hopefully they'll run some of the nominated movies soon, though they seem to focus mostly on foreign films and stuff they can get on the cheap (for example, they've got Shall We Dance? going now, but will be showing The Incredibles next week, so it's not all bad).

Greetings from Ice Station Zebra, where it looks like the snow is finally beginning to taper off. Still a fair amount of wind, so it's hard to say if what's in the air now is falling or just blowing around.

We're up around 30 inches now, and at one point this morning we had the high score (so to speak) for Massachusetts, though it looks like places on the South Shore will wind up beating us (some places are expected to get the full yard of snow). With the wind there are a number of high drifts. We had one in our driveway that was up around 5 feet. Thanks to a deal with our landlord, we got to shovel it away for a break in our rent (and an even bigger thanks to him for doubling the amount of that break when he saw how much snow we were going to get).

Somehow, in all of this snow, the wife thought it would be a good idea to go to church. Even more surprising, the priests at St. Mary Star of the Sea thought it would be a good idea to remain open. So we walked over, not that we had a choice. I've not seen a plow on our street since last night, and there was a 2 to 3 foot snow pile we had to climb over at an intersection the next street over.

The walk was brisk, but apparently worth it as we made up fifty percent of the congregation this morning. Not surprisingly, Mass was short.

Not much else to say storm-wise, other than to note it's almost time to get back out shoveling. I've managed to get the driveway about half open, which will be handy if our upstairs neighbors actually try to get home tonight. For their own sakes, I hope they're hunkered down somewhere and not planning on returning until tomorrow.

I will take a second to note the passing of Johnny Carson. I don't think I could come close to doing justice to his long and storied career, but will simply note that whatever interest I have in late night TV and topical humor I generally got from him and the Tonight Show before Jay Leno screwed it up. Please join me in a memorial imaginary golf swing.

So I never made divisional playoff picks for last weekend. I will say that I would have picked all 4 winners; I didn't see either St. Louis or Minnesota hanging with Atlanta or Philly, and there was no way I was going to pick against the Pats and for the Jets. So let's just say that I'm "6-2" so far.

Regarding tomorrow:

Philly finally breaks through and wins the NFC. I don't think the Falcons will be able to run on the Eagles as easily as they did on the Rams, and I think the Philly secondary should be able to handle the passing attack. The wild card that is Michael Vick always leaves the door open for an upset, but I'm saving that for the ACF.

Although, really, picking the Pats isn't an upset, at least by Vegas standards. But they're the lower seed playing on the road, so odds be damned. I have to think that the Pats have been working on a defensive scheme for tomorrow since sometime in early November.

I'm not expecting a lot of points, and would be surprised if the winner cracks the low teens. The foot of Adam Vinatieri will, as usual, play a vital role in the game somehow. Hopefully in a good way.

As you might have heard, we're due for some snow in this neck of the woods. I can say that as of now, we have enough show to shut North Carolina down for a solid week. :)

We've got somewhere in the 3 to 4 inch range, so there's quite a ways to go. We'd planned on killing some of the night watching the second BU-Maine tilt (the first being last night, a 1-1 tie), but NESN apparently can't show it. Not sure why; they'd listed it earlier, but now have this terse message saying they can't. I'm assuming it's weather-related.

In an unrelated TV note, if you get a chance on Monday tune in Jeopardy to see Brandeis' own Ted Stratton defend the champion status he earned yesterday. Go Ted!

If you're like me, you've never wondered what it would sound like if you crossed Coldplay with the Dave Matthews Band. If you have wondered, I would direct you to the group Blue Merle, which I first heard on the radio yesterday.

The song I heard is the one you can play on their home page. Not sure if I like it or not, feel free to give your opinions.

The third "season" of The Apprentice kicked off last night, featuring a "book smarts" versus "street smarts" theme. I think I'm going to be sick of this theme really soon, as there's only so far that "slobs versus snobs" can get you. Compare Caddyshack to Caddyshack II, for example.

Otherwise, no real obvious changes from the other seasons, other than they brought in a hipster doofus for entertainment purposes. Considering how close he got to being fired last night, I'm not expecting a deep run for him. I won't miss his colorful leisure suits.

In unrelated news, I'm taken with one of the current Yahoo headlines, "Inch of show cripples North Carolina's capital." Reading the article, it appears that there was a lack of readiness due to forecasts only calling for a dusting. Really, if the margin between a dusting and an inch is what sends you from business as usual to chaos, there may be bigger problems than the weathermen being off a bit.

Sorry for the absence, was away over the long weekend and got off of schedule a bit. As is usually the case during the MLK weekend, I was in Ann Arbor for a tournament. We won, woo! I also got to try Ethiopian food for the first time, and would highly recommend it if you don't mind eating with your hands.

So American Idol is back, and for all the talk about changes it's pretty mucht he same. People who can't sing are mocked, those who appear to have talent are sent to Hollywood, and Seacrest is still a tool. One change that does seem to be working out is having the celebrity judges during the auditions rather than the finals, as they seem more willing to be critical. Mark McGrath made more critical comments in one show than all the celebtrity judges did all of last season. That, and judging kept him from singing, which isn't a bad thing, either.

We also tuned into the premiere of Point Pleasant last night, or as I like to think of it, What Ever Happened to Rosemary's Baby? Turns out she became a Maxim model who can start fires with her mind (imagine what that photo shoot would be like).

If you've not seen the ads, the show is about the looming battle between good and evil that will apparently involve this young, toothsome "child of darkness" who is now living in a coastal New Jersey town. That power she seems to have also appears to affect people's actions, as we've been promised some hanky panky.

I'm sure debuting after American Idol isn't going to hurt ratings for last night, though its regular slot is Thursday at 9, where it gets to butt heads with CSI and The Apprentice. Hope they can wrap up Armageddon in six episodes.

Full answers for my completely adequate lyrics quiz are available below (I tried to link to the entry, but it winds up taking you to the comments; odd). The songs that didn't get identified were on the tough side, and my hints only helped a little. In any case, I do plan on trying this again in the semi-near future. I'll leave out the non-English songs. Maybe.

OK, I've added some hints to the music quiz below. Not sure how helpful they'll be, as they're (a) off the cuff, and (b) still trying not to give away direct info about the performer or album.

Full answers will go up in 24 hours.

I suppose it's a sign of my growing comfort with the dentist that I did not write beforehand about my visit this morning to finish off my root canal.

From what I could tell it was pretty routine, although my endodontist doesn't really say too much while he's working. Given the instruments used, it was less of a dental procedure and more of a craft project. At one point he used what appeared to be a soldering iron (which seemed to be used to soften the gutta-percha used to fill the canals), and he used something like a hot glue gun to give me another temporary filling. Were my root canal televised, I don't know if it'd be on Discovery Health or HGTV. I suppose if I were good with mirrors and somewhat sadistic it could be on DIY.

Now all that's left is to get the post and crown, which will start in March. They've not taken any impressions, so it looks like I won't be finally done with this whole thing until sometime in April or even May. Huzzah.

Stealing from Craig and the Bruce, and looking to break the monopoly that sports have had on the blog in '05, here's my own 20 song lyrics quiz. These are the first 20 songs played at random when I fired up iTunes yesterday afternoon. I didn't use party shuffle; should that somehow violate the spirit of things, I promise to use it for a follow-up should this one go OK (which is an even money thing, I suppose).

Some notes about the songs:

1. I did leave in what I would consider album cuts, but where I did I tried to use opening lines (unless they include the name of the song or I think there will be a likely participant who knows the band pretty well). Songs I'd lump in here: 3, 6, 15, 18, and 20.
1a. You will notice that 18 is not in English. I will note that (a) the vast majority of the album the song is from is in English, and (b) the album did spawn one of the most popular songs in the year it was released (which is within the last 5 to 7 years).

2. Covers: 4, 5, and 14. The first two are reasonably well-known covers, while 14 has been done by a number of different people. Hint: this one is unplugged.

3. Email or comment answers, when a song is gotten (title and artist) I'll italicize it and give props. I'll give partial props where appropriate, but leave the lyrics in regular text.

4. Not sure what the protocol is for web searching. I assume it's frowned upon. Not like I can check.

5. Oh, yeah, groups are repeated. Assuming that matters.

Good luck!

(PS: I've never been sure what's the proper way to put lyrics into text like this, so I've done what seems most appropriate. If there's some sort of convention I've missed, please let me know.)

1. He roller coaster, he got early warning, he got muddy water, he want mojo filter. ("Come Together," The Beatles; Paul)

2. Oh give your love girl to whoever you choose, how can you lose with the stuff you use now
("It's Your Thing," Isley Brothers)

3. Lately I’ve been feeling low, a remedy is what I’m seeking, I take a taste of what’s below, come away to something better ("Jimi Thing," The Dave Matthews Band; Boggie)

4. What's the use of trying, all you get is pain, when I wanted sunshine I got rain ("I'm a Believer," Smash Mouth; Greg)

5. These people 'round here wear beaten down eyes, sunk in smoke dried faces, they’re so resigned to what their fate is ("Come on Eileen," Save Ferris; Ted)

6. You know you made me cry, I see no use in wonderin' why I cry for you
("Not a Second Time," The Beatles)

7. Rover was killed by a Pontiac, and it was done with such grace and artistry that the witnesses awarded the driver both ears and the tail. ("In Old Mexico," Tom Lehrer; Paul)

8. The fast guys get paid, they shoot, they score; Protect them, Buddy, that’s what you’re here for ("Hit Somebody! (The Hockey Song)," Warren Zevon; Greg)

9. Bye bye babe it’s been sweet love, though this feeling I can’t change, but please don’t take this so badly, ‘Cause Lord knows I’m to blame ("Free Bird," Lynyrd Skynyrd; Paul)

10. Time after time, you refuse to even listen, I wouldn’t mind, If I knew what I was missing ("You Won't See Me, The Beatles; Brian)

11. I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems, got to open my eyes to everything ("Bring Me to Life," Evanescence; Boggie)

12. Months went by with us pretending, When did our light turn from green to red,
I took a chance and left you standing, Lost the will to do this once again
("Wasting My Time," Default)

13. I'm in the sky tonight, There I can keep by your side, Watching the whole world wind, Around and round ("Next Year," Foo Fighters; Greg)

14. Days may be cloudy or sunny, We're in or we're out of the money, But I'm with you always ("Come Rain or Come Shine," Glenn Frey; Paul on song, The Bruce on artist)

15. Lie beside me, Whisper to me that you want me, Arms around me, Whisper to me that you want me, There's nothing here to be afraid of
("Just the Morning," Lyle Lovett; Greg on artist)

16 Did you lose yourself somewhere out there? Did you get to be a star? Don't it make you sad to know that life, Is more than who we are ("Name," Goo Goo Dolls; Allyson)

17. I mean about future calamity, I used to think the idea was obsolete, Until I heard the old man stamping his feet. ("Hell," Squirrel Nut Zippers; Greg)

18. Herido y abandonado, Aber aber tu sabes dime mi amor por favor, Que dolor nos quedo
("Corazon Espinado," Santana)

19. I thought you’d come through, I thought you’d come clean, You were the best thing I should never have seen
("Human," The Pretenders)

20. We live in a beautiful world, Yeah we do, yeah we do ("Don't Panic," Coldplay; Boggie)

NFL playoffs start today. So, my off the cuff and highly unscientific picks:

Indy v. Denver I think Indy can score more points off of Denver's defense than the Denver offense can score off of what passes for Indy's defense. Pick: Indy

San Diego v. New York Part of me really thinks the Jets can pull this out. Then I consider that I'd be picking the Jets. That's almost as bad as picking the Dolphins for a Pats fan. I keep hearing how under-rated the Bolts are, and thus will give them the benefit of the doubt. Pick: San Diego

Green Bay v. Minnesota Green Bay's won both games this year in close fashion. But Minnesota is something like 2-20 in their last 22 outdoor games. I don't suppose plucky Vikings fans have tented in Lambeau Field? Didn't think so. Pick: Green Bay

Seattle v. St. Louis St. Louis won both match-ups this year, but they're 2-6 in away games. Both teams have won their last two games. Both teams have beaten higher seeded NFC teams recently, but in both cases opposing starters didn't always play the whole game. It's a toss-up, except that Matt Hasselback used to play at BC. That'll do. Pick: St. Louis

On Jeopardy tonight, Tucker Carlson read a clue and introduced himself as being from "CNN's Crossfire." Now, less than an hour later, I read that he's off the show, as his contract's not being renewed.

Sadly, I couldn't gain too much mirth at this. Seems that Carlson's going to wind up on MSNBC, while Crossfire is getting rolled into other programming as a segment rather than staying its own show. Must be the bow tie.

Another college football season is in the books, and it didn't so much go out with a whimper instead of a bang as much as it went out with the muffled thuds of an old-fashioned beat down. Did Oklahoma send their actual first string to the Orange Bowl?

I didn't watch must past the first half, and to be honest I don't think I needed to watch as much of the first half as I did. If I were an Auburn fan (or even a Utah fan), I'd be feeling a little ticked this morning, as I'd be thinking that my school could have given USC more of a run than what they got from the Sooners.

Last night also marked the end of ESPN.com's bowl pick-em game, in which I fared a bit better than last year, when it looked like I intentionally tried to pick losers. I finished with a winning record (barely; 15-13) and in points in the middle of the pack. My main nemesis was the MAC, as I think I only picked one of their bowl games correctly. I also continued my perfect streak of picking the loser of the New Orleans Bowl. To that, I can only say that we don't get a lot of Sun Belt games up here, so it's hard to judge.

I'm also a little ticked at myself for not taking UConn in the Motor City Bowl. I can only plead temporary insanity there, as at this point they are my default regional divison 1 team. I'm further ticked at the confidence point system the game uses, as in changing some games I wound up only getting 2 points for Georgia Tech's pasting of Syracuse, a game I'd originally assigned a 26 or 27 to. I'm specifically to blame for losing the 28 point game; I took Cal over Texas Tech.

Keeping the two game set with Minnesota from being a total loss, the BU hockey team won the opener in Agganis Arena, prevailing by the same score they'd lost by the previous night, 2-1. Fans of symmetry will also enjoy that the same BU player, Brad Zancanaro, scored the last goal at Walter Brown and the first goal at Agganis.

One game in, there's very little I can say in the negative about the new place. The biggest problem I encountered was that the concessions staff didn't seem to know how to work the registers. Fans are also going to have to learn that it's not good form to stop in the middle of the concourse to chat, as it slows everything down.

I did read in a USCHO story that some people complained about the rows being too long in the sections, and about a lack of leg room. The rows are long, but no longer than those you would find at the Fleet Center. Hopefully, people will begin to realize that you should spend less time getting up and more time watching the game. As for leg room, I'm often in need of it, and didn't find it wanting from my seat. I don't think we get any extra room as premium seat holders, but I could be wrong.

(That being said, I could use a skosh more hip room. Of course, I could do something about that my own self.)

There were some opening night issues, as people get used to operating things. With all the new technology I figure it will take a few games for everyone to get ramped up, regardless of any practice they've had previous to opening. Heck, the team is still trying to get used to the bigger ice surface (it's 5 feet wider) and they've been practicing there for a couple of weeks.

Not much else to complain about. The wait to get out of the parking garage under the arena was longish, but not unlike what you get in any parking garage after an event. It was certainly shorter than any time I've been to a game up at BC. I don't think I've ever gotten out of their garage in less than 20 minutes.

On the tooth front, I am a little sore where I had the work done yesterday but nothing approaching actual pain. And to some extent I think the soreness is my own fault, as waited a little longer to take my ibuprofen so my last dose would be closer to bed time.

Between the game and the dentist, things actually went much better than expected yesterday. Hopefully the job I applied for in the afternoon will work out as well.

I'm home, with what I'm told is about 80 percent of the root canal completed. Next week I get to go back in to finish it off. It should be a fun time for all.

The procedure wasn't too bad, I was pretty well numbed up. The worst part was the novocaine shot by the cheek; it didn't hurt too badly, but more than expected. Actually, the worst part was having to listen to a whole Avril Lavigne song on the radio the dentist had on. That sucked.

I'm still pretty numb now, so I assume the pain that stems from what took place is en route. I've already taken a bunch of ibuprofen, and have been told to keep doing that for a couple of days.

More later.

I feel like I should say more about the Walter Brown Arena swan song, but I've got nothing. I suppose tonight's experience (or, maybe more realistically, a few games' worth of experience) in Agganis will give me something by way of comparison.

Or it could be that I'm too on edge for my root canal, which will start in about an hour. The kind words of you commenters were good to hear, though I've also heard some less pleasant information from others. I suppose it's all fear of the unknown; it's not like I've had one of these before. On the plus side, I've already had the tooth drilled out, and I don't think the guts of the tooth are that badly off.

I did do some reading on the subject on-line, which was somewhat reassuring although almost all the pages belong to dentists or dental associations. I wouldn't expect a lot of worrisome words from them. I will say that seeing the phrase "titanium rotary files" caused a bit of a blood pressure spike, what with visions of Marathon Man and Brazil. OK, it's not going to be that bad - I don't know that my endodontist is a sadist, and I don't think anyone believes I have information (rather than pulp) that needs extracting.

An era of BU hockey ended with a whimper tonight, as the Terriers lost their last game at Walter Brown Arena, dropping a 2-1 decision to Minnesota.

There was not a lot of pomp to the final game. The team that won back to back national titles in the early '70s was introduced before the game, and all former and current BU players in attendance had a photo op on the ice after the game. Apparently the pomp is being saved for tomorrow, as there'll be a 45 minute ceremony of some sorts.

I took a few pictures, and plan to write something up. Someday.