First, the upfronts.

ABC will premiere four comedies and four dramas next year. The dramas are all kind of vague sounding. They include:

* 10-8, about becoming a rookie cop in LA
* Threat Matrix, the first of what will be hundreds of shows about the brave men and women of the Department of Homeland Security
* Karen Sisco, a show built around Jennifer Lopez's character from the movie Out of Sight
* Line of Fire, which looks at G-Men fighting the Mob. It'll be a mid-season replacement, probably picking up wherever the euthanized carcass of one of the preceding three shows leaves off.

Most notable is that the biggest name in any of these shows is Carla Gugino, who you may know as the mom in the Spy Kids movies. Or not.

The sitcoms include one where Kelly Ripa and Faith Ford play sisters (Hope and Faith), a Birdcage-inspired one where a girl raised by a gay couple falls for the offspring of a conservative family (It's All Relative), the Notting Hillish I'm With Her about a school teacher who marries a movie star (played by Teri Polo), and Back to Kansas, which inflicts Breckin Meyer on us again, this time as a New Yorker who moves to Kansas and has to deal with his wife's large and outgoing family. Think Mama's Family meets, uh, some piece of crap.

George Lopez and Life With Bonnie get shipped over to Friday to make an older-skewing TGIF with two of the new shows. Dragnet (called L.A. Dragnet on the ABC website, apparently to differentiate it from Peoria Dragnet or Port St. Lucie Dragnet) will move to Saturday and be paired with, I am not making this up, The Wonderful World of Disney. Expect Detectives Friday and Smith to investigate the kidnapping of several dalmatians in next year's premiere.

Missing from the schedule is anything Drew Carey related, as both his sitcom and Who's Line Is It, Anyways are apparently sent packing. They were on air this year, weren't they?

Oh, ABC's cheif entertainment guy is named Lloyd Braun. Sound familiar? It should. That was also the name of George's arch-nemesis on Seinfeld, the guy who snaps and is eventually hired by Frank Costanza to sell computers of out a garage ("The Serenity Now"). Given some of the other in-jokes in names on that show, I have to think this isn't coincidence.

The WB had their upfront as well today, which will be of interest to all three of my sub-25 readers. Angel returns as the only 2003-04 outlet for fresh Buffy-related material, and will be joined by Smallville. Impossibly attractive vampires and homoerotic burgeoning superhero-and-villain back to back. There's a combo for you!

The only other thing worth noting (for me) is that Greetings From Tucson isn't on the schedule, or listed as a mid-season replacement, meaning I'm getting LaPlaca Open points for it. Woo hoo!

Apparently there'll be a Gilmore Girls spin-off coming mid-season. One new drama, Fearless, reuinites us with the concept of 21 Jump Street, as the FBI develops a special unit of brooding, poorly-shaved hotties who will fight today's new youthful supercrooks. Two of the characters are named Gaia and Harmony. Ugh.

Another noodle-scratcher is Tarzan and Jane, which puts Tarzan in the asphalt jungle, fighting for right in New York City. Jane in this case is a cop who alternately loves, respects, and finds fault in this hairy, brooding vigilante. I can't believe I just typed that.

Irony alert! Harry Groener, who played the evil mayor of Sunnydale during a season of Buffy will co-star in a mid-season show called The Mayor. Let's hope he doesn't turn into that snake beast thing again; that's so been done.

I don't have the strength to write anything else about the WB upfront, other than to note that they seem to have more replacement series than new fall premieres. Hmm.

In American Idol action, say what you want about this season not measuring up to last, but we do have one thing that we didn't have last year: an actual three-way race for the final two. Or at least a plausible race, based on performances.

Kim Locke was, all things considered, probably the best performer tonight. She, Clay, and Ruben each got to sing three songs (OK, parts of three songs): one of their choosing, one chosen by judges, and one selected at random. She did "Band of Gold" (which she did in Glendale with Frenchie), some song I can't remember, and Natalie Cole's "Inseperable."

Clay looked human for the first time in the competition with a really horrid take on Don McLean's "Vincent," but came back on "Mack the Knife" and "Unchained Melody." At times Clay has a really sibilant s, almost to the point of lisping.

Ruben was Ruben on "Signed, Sealed, Delivered," "Smile," and "If Ever I'm In Your Arms Again." He sounds more hoarse to me now than before. Hope he's not doing damage to the pipes.

I'm predicting that Ruben and Clay will square off in the finals based more on popularity than performance, though to be honest any of the three would be as good as the others as the winner.