The roll-out of next year's TV schedules continued yesterday with CBS taking their turn. Apparently this has turned into the big hit of the upfront week, with Les Moonves cracking wise and appearing in filmed bits related to current Eye network shows (check out the Aaron Barnhart piece about this). As for the shows, you'd be excused if you thought the "C" in CBS stood for crime, as all of then new CBS dramas (five of them!) have a crime angle.

The more obviously crime-related appear to be Cold Case, NCIS, and The Handler. Cold Case follows a detective who uses modern science to solve old murder cases. Good bye car chases, hello gripping scenes of DNA matching. NCIS is a JAG spin-off (making some people very happy, I'd bet) revolving around a Navy Criminal Investigation Service officer named J.P. Gibbs (played by Mark Harmon). Finally, The Handler stars Joe Pantoliano as and FBI agent who trains and "handles" undercover agents, including the required rookie and grizzled veteran. I'm sure Joe Pants would like this to go better than the short-lived EZ Streets, but Friday at 10? Ouch.

The crime-tinged dramas are Joan of Arcadia and The Brotherhood of Poland, N.H. Joan stars Joe Mantegna as the police chief of Arcadia, California (Fat Tony gone legit - sniff) who has his hands full with his teenage kids- the son still coming to grips with a car-wreck derived disability, and a daughter who talks to God. Yes, that God. The daughter would be the Joan in question. Whether or not she leads the French to victory in a May sweeps extravaganza is yet to be determined. Joan also features Mary Steenburgen, continuing the strange hold that she and hubby Ted Danson have on the network. I'm thinking blackmail.

The Brotherhood of Poland, N. H. is David E. Kelley's oddest-titled series ever. The "brotherhood" is actually three brothers who all live in the title town. One is the mayor, one is the police chief, and the third is "still looking for his calling," also known as the screw-up. The show has a several people you've heard of: Randy Quaid, Mare Winningham, and Elizabeth McGovern most notably. Whether or not you want to watch them on this is another thing entirely. I suppose it can't be worse than girl's club... can it?

The two new sitcoms are Two and a Half Men and The Stones. Two and a Half Men brings us the one-two punch of Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer. The half-man in the title is one of their sons. Do you even want me to continue the description? Blythe Danner co-stars, which make me sad.

The Stones stars Judith Light and Robert Klein as a couple who decides to divorce, and seem very happy about it. Much to the chagrin of their twentysomething kids, who find out during a wedding anniversary celebration they throw for them.

Both of these sound like LaPlaca fodder, except that Two and a Half Men gets the post-Raymond spot on Monday, and The Stones will run post-King of Queens on its new night and time, Wednesday at 9. That sets up quite the battle, as you'll have that comedy block fighting against The West Wing and The Bachelor. I don't think The King of Queens will have a Becker-like fold when it was moved out of the Monday line-up, but it's a risky move.

The other notable time change is JAG moving to Friday at 9 to anchor Joan and The Handler. This, I think, is even riskier, as if the new shows falter, JAG will probably have to move again to accomodate a movie or something. Too much moving isn't good.

One of the frustrating things about the new show information is that some networks are much more open about mid-season shows than others. CBS has no information about them with their new line-up, while the WB had them right there with the fall premiers. Given the usual level of quality of mid-season replacements, perhaps this isn't such a bad thing from the CBS perspective.

Oh, and Kimberly Locke did go on American Idol last night, to the surprise of no one (or very few). This sets up the Clay-Ruben battle that's been brewing for a couple of months, when it was clear that they were the two who had both singing ability and lots of fans. Which leads me to think how someone becomes a rabid fan of a person who is basically doing nationally-televised karaoke every week, but that's a thought process I'd rather not contemplate at this hour of the day.