I'm not surprised that Jasmine Trias remains on American Idol while La Toya London went packing. I am surprised that there's such a deep and devoted fanbase for music sung by atonal Hawaiian teens. It would not surprise me to learn shortly after the crowning of this year's Idol that Jasmine's success is due to some sort of Internet cabal that used technology to advance her candidacy.

And if there wasn't one before, let's start one now. Take some time over the next few days to configure your modem or other software to act in an auto-dialer capacity, and then tune in next Tuesday to get Jasmine's number. Together, we can bring what appears to be America's wishes into fruition.

The really incomprehensible part of tonight's show was Donna Summer singing "Macarthur Park." Hand to God. "Macarthur Park."

On the positive side, Clay Aiken came on to sing Earth Wind and Fire's song "Fantasy" with the remaining contestants. The positive there being I remembered how much I liked the original, and that I had some free songs to use. I'm now that much more funky.

Speaking of free songs, I got a soda out of the machine in my building tonight, and it turns out to still be from the Pepsi/iTunes promotion. Remember how I never got a free song when it was still going? Now, almost two weeks after it ends, I got a code under my cap. Solid.