Trio Trophy - Day Five

Quick programming note - no new pairings will be posted over the weekend. Results will be posted, but you'll get your next slate of shows on Monday.

From the Turn On bracket:

(4) Murder One v. (13) The Dana Carvey Show

Murder One took an inventive approach to the courtroom procedural. The plan was to focus on one case over the course of the season, from the perspective of a defense attorney, Ted Hoffman, and the lawyers at his namesake firm as they defended Neil Avedon, a well-known actor charged with killing a 15-year-old girl. There were a few other cases handled by the other lawyers, providing some B-story relief.

The second season strayed from the original concept, as ratings suggested that the serial nature of the series limited new viewers from joining the series in progress, and viewers who missed an episode or two couldn't catch up. Hoffman was out (actor Daniel Benzali left the show) and was replaced by Jimmy Wyler (Anthony LaPaglia), a former district attorney who quit his job to start his own defense practice.

The new focus and change in cast didn't help the ratings, so ABC pulled the plug on the show after 41 episodes from 1995 to 1997.

You can see full episodes of the show here.

The Dana Carvey Show premiered after an episode of Home Improvement, with its first skit featuring Bill Clinton proving his compassion by suckling a baby, kittens and puppies. Tool Time it wasn't. No surprise, then, that ratings for the show never really took off, even as the show earned praise from critics.

Timeslot issues aside, the show did feature a strong cast, including Steve Carrell, Stephen Colbert and Robert Smigel, who would first launch The Ambiguously Gay Duo on this show. All were also writers for the show, joined by the likes of Charlie Kaufman, Spike Feresten, and Louis C.K. Carvey's contributions included new material and a return to some of his SNL work. One notable contribution from this show to SNL was a skit lifted from the unaired final episode, where Carvey plays Tom Browkaw as he rehearses a number of death scenarios for former President Gerald Ford.

Clips here.

(5) Buffalo Bill v. (12) Lateline

Buffalo Bill was Dabney Coleman's first TV foray into playing a boorish lout who, for all of his ego and selfishness, managed to be tolerable if not endearing. He played "Buffalo Bill" Bittinger, a talk show host on a small Buffalo TV station whose insensitivity came out both on and off camera, as he managed to offend viewers and co-workers alike. Bill would find a way to weasel out of many scrapes (such as when he spun the failure to get a job in New York as him not wanting to leave the great people of Buffalo), but more often than not failed because the people closest to him knew him too well.

Besides Coleman, the series was also the first regular series for several actors, including Joanna Cassidy, Geena Davis, Max Wright, Charles Robinson, and Meshach Taylor. But a young and talented cast on a show that breaks the convention of having a nice guy in the lead role doesn't translate into a long run. After 25 episodes in 1983 and 1984, NBC cancelled the show.

Oddly, the only decent clip from the show that I could find features Geena Davis.

Lateline spoofed news and politics by showing the workings of a late night news program in Washington, DC. Al Franken starred as anchor Al Freundlich, whose idealism and self-image belied his lack of actual smarts. Plots revolved around issues at the show and current political topics, with a number of real-life politicians and journalists making guest appearances.

After its first season, NBC decided to bring the show back in mid-season the following year, thinking that new sitcoms like Encore, Encore and Conrad Bloom would catch on. They didn't. Even so, Lateline's return didn't bring in many more viewers, and it was quickly yanked. Only 12 of the show's 19 episodes aired on NBC during 1998 and 1998; the unaired episodes became a third "season" on Showtime.

Oddly, I can't seem to turn up video for the show. It doesn't help that there is an actual Australian news program called Lateline, or that search engines keep thinking I'm looking for Dateline.

From the South of Sunset bracket:

(4) Crime Story v. (13) Nowhere Man

Crime Story pitted the head of 1960s Chicago's Major Crimes Unit, Mike Torello, against a rising star in the mob, Ray Luca. The first half of the first season saw Torello and his unit continually come just short of being able to put Luca away, as he killed his way to the top of the syndicate. His national reach was demonstrated in the second half of the season, when he moved his operation to Las Vegas, where Torello followed after getting his unit transferred to the feds. Still unable to catch him, the show continued into a second season that focused more on the often cozy relationship between the mob and politicians (complete with an arc based on the Kennedys and Marilyn Monroe). By the end of the second season, Luca has taken his operation international, leading to an airborne confrontation in the final episode.

The show was noted for its gritty feel and use of period detail and music, especially with the episodes set in Chicago. Chicago's actual criminal history contributed to the series, with Luca being based on Anthony Spilotro. The cast also had some history, as Dennis Farina (who played Torello) was formerly a Chicago cop, and John Santucci (who played Luca's sidekick Pauli) was once a jewel thief.

Produced by Michael Mann, Crime Story originally aired after Miami Vice and did well in the ratings, enough to get moved up against Moonlighting in its second season. Ratings dipped, the show moved back to its old slot, but it couldn't compete with Falcon Crest. NBC pulled the show after 44 episodes from 1986 to 1988, as the ratings didn't justify the costs of shooting a period show on location.

Some clips of the show here, including its original intro using Del Shannon's "Runaway."

Nowhere Man starred Bruce Greenwood as Thomas Veil, a photojournalist who, after photographing a secret execution in the Nicaraguan jungle, is the subject of a conspiracy that erases his past and sees everyone he knows to forget who he is. Collecting the negatives of the execution picture, Veil spends the series trying to piece together the conspiracy surrounding the execution and his status, getting help along the way by an unnamed member of the conspiracy. As the series continued, Veil discovered that the executions may have taken place in the US, and may have involved a number of sitting Senators. He also learns something about his own past that will lead him to start his quest to find himself all over again.

Not that we got to see that, as UPN only aired a single season of the show, as the unusual for UPN critical acclaim and rabid fanbase wouldn't save it from the mass cancellations after the network's first year. There were 25 episodes, shown during the 1995-96 season.

All the video out there is Beatles-related, so instead enjoy this fan site.

(5) Andy Richter Controls the Universe v. (12) Greg the Bunny

Andy Richter Controls the Universe was a workplace sitcom starring Andy Richter, whose character (also named Andy Richter) was an aspiring writer who paid the bills through technical writing for Pickering Industries. Each episode featured Andy dealing with the usual office hassles, but in a fairly unique way, being driven by narration and imaginary sequences that played out as real, only to be rewound so we could see what really happened.

A funny and inventive sitcom on Fox? Any surprise that it only lasted 19 episodes from 2002-03?

Clips - including broken-up episodes - available here.

Greg the Bunny was also funny, inventive and on Fox. Again, no surprise at its demise. It followed the show Sweetknuckle Junction, a Muppets-style show where the puppets were treated as living both on and off the show, with the off-show treatment being especially shabby. Plots focused on the show's human cast and their interactions with each other and the puppet cast.

The human cast featured a number of known actors, including Seth Green, Eugene Levy and Sarah Silverman.

Growing out of a series of shorts on IFC (which themselves grew out of shorts on local cable), the show couldn't be as edgy on network TV, and the inevitable conflicts that spawned, coupled with ratings, led to it getting pulled after 13 episodes in 2002.

Plenty of clips here from the Fox run. There are also plenty of clips from the shows two runs on IFC, both on YouTube and the IFC website.

Trio Trophy - DAY TWO RESULTS

Co-Ed Fever bracket:

(15)Now and Again d. (18) When Things Were Rotten, 8-2

Quote of the Match: "Now and Again - sci-fi can't work on CBS unless it's about Irish-accented angels or god, I guess. Also, surely people confused it with Once and Again too often." - Greg

(Guilty as charged. Though it'd be interesting to see how Bruce Campbell would function with Sela Ward's brain.)

(16) Maximum Bob d. (15) Upright Citizen's Brigade, 7-3

Quote of the Match: "Maximum Bob (would vote for Petticoat Junction (non Geoff Edwards episodes) over Upright Citizens Brigade)" - Baron Von Rotten

Public Morals bracket:

(18)Miss Guided d. (15) Keen Eddie, 6-2

Quote of the Match: "MISS GUIDED (which is actually totally unfamiliar to me, but a contest between Judy Greer and Sienna Miller is no contest)" - jheaton

(16)The Slap Maxwell Story d. (17) Call to Glory, 10-0

(Our first shutout!)

Quote of the Match: "The Slap Maxwell Story - I'm voting against the historically themed show, and yet somehow, I think I am voting for Jay Mariotti." - Craig

(Only if Slap was a lot whinier than I remember.)

Trio Trophy - Day 4

From the Co-Ed Fever bracket:

(3) The Critic v. (14) Voyagers!

The Critic followed neurotic New York film critic Jay Sherman, whose low-rated "Coming Attractions" aired on a cable network owned by Ted Turner clone Duke Phillips. When not at work, we got to see Jay interact with his adoptive family - Franklin, a senile ex-governor of New York, WASPy wife Eleanor, and teenaged sister Margo - and his son Marty, who favored Jay more than Jay's ex-wife, the demonic Ardeth. Later on, he'd start dating an assistant on his show, Alice, who had a daughter Penny from a previous marriage.

As an animated show, The Critic was able to do things that regular shows couldn't do, between far-flung plots (such as the time Jay was stuck in Iraq during Desert Storm) and a variety of parody movies and TV ads. But it was best when Jay had to confront his fears and deal with the love-hate relationship of his parents, his attempts to be good dad or boyfriend, or his never-ending battle with his sentient stomach.

The show featured a strong cast, from Jon Lovitz as Jay to Alan Napier's Duke to Doris Grau's gravelly-voiced make-up woman, also named Doris. Proving that the A in ABC didn't stand for animated, the network let the show go to Fox after its first season in 1994, but Fox (who seem to air anything animated - hello American Dad) didn't have much more ratings luck with the show. 23 episodes were aired overall, although 10 webisodes, each 2 minutes long, were made in 2001.

Various clips, including at least one full episode in three parts, can be seen here.

Voyagers! brought the Time Bandits vibe to TV, with Jon-Erik Hexum playing Phineas Bogg, who as one of the Voyagers travels through time to put history back in order when it breaks down (such as in the pilot, where they have to get the Wright brothers to invent the airplane).

This would be much easier for Bogg if he wasnt' so clueless about history. But he gets some help in the form of 12 year old Jeffrey Jones, an orhpan and history buff. They meet when Bogg's time travel device, the Omni, malfunctions and sends him to 1982. Bogg and Jeffrey would have two or three historical adventures per episode, with Jeffrey filling in the many gaps in Bogg's knowledge.

The show was mainly aimed at kids, with Meeno Peluce, who played Jeffrey, giving information where kids could read more about the historical events at the end of each episode. The orientation didn't help the show in finding a wider audience, even in its early Sunday timeslot. The show was cancelled after the 1982-83 season for NBC.

Some clips from the show are available here.

(6) Freaks and Geeks v. (11) The New Adventures of Beans Baxter

Freaks and Geeks followed Lindsay and Sam Weir as they navigated McKinley High School outside of Detroit in the early 1980s. Lindsay, a former mathlete, became more rebellious and hung out with the titular freaks, while Sam stuck with the geeks. The show not only showed how they dealt with the usual high school challenges, but with the situations that involved their particular clique. The setting was given further authenticity by the use of period music and casting of actors who were reasonably close to high school age.

This was the show that launched Judd Apatow and his cast of regulars, including Seth Rogan, Jason Segal and Busy Phillips, among others. The show developed a loyal fan base quickly, but as would be seen with Undeclared, it wouldn't be enough to save the show. NBC pulled the show after 18 episodes in the 1999-2000 season.

Several clips here, including whole episodes broken into smaller chunks.

The New Adventures of Beans Baxter was also a high school show, but slightly less realistic than Freaks and Geeks. Beans was, on the face of things, your average Washington DC high-schooler, but rather than having a paper route or working at McDonalds, his after school job was as a courier for The Network, an intelligence agency that employed his dad. But when his dad was kidnapped by the thugs from UGLI, they turned their sights on Beans, hoping to capture him to get his dad to give them secret information.

(The head of UGLI was played by Kurtwood Smith, apparenly honing his Red Foreman.)

All this played out in a semi-serious context, helped with the juxtaposition of the suddenly mundane problems of high school with the life and death struggle of espionage. The show was created by Savagae Steve Holland, who also directed most of the episodes. Even so, it didn't quite attract the family audience one would hope for on Saturdays (and was on opposite Golden Girls to boot), and Fox put the youthful spy out into the cold for goof after 17 episodes in the 1987-88 season.

This is the best I can do for video.

From the Public Morals bracket:

(3)The Ben Stiller Show v. (14) Sledge Hammer!

The Ben Stiller Show originated on MTV and seemed like a good fit for Fox as an edgier sketch comedy show. The show focused on parodying pop culture, such as spoofing on the Wilfred Brimley ads for Quaker Oats by introducing Grady Oats, with its own geriatric - and batshit crazy - pitchman. Stiller also impersonated the like of Bruce Springsteen, Tom Cruise and Bono in various skits. There were also original characters, like Tito Gallegas, the Pig Latin Lover.

The cast featured Stiller and several very familiar names. Janeane Garofalo, Andy Dick and Bob Odenkirk were regulars (the latter two would go on to their own sketch shows), while Judd Apatow and David Cross were among the writers.

It may be that early Sunday nights weren't the best slot for the show, as for all the critical success it never got beyond cult status. Even an Emmy for writing couldn't save the show, cancelled after 12 episodes in the 1992-93 season.

Plenty of clips here.

Sledge Hammer! took the tough-guy cop stereotype to comedic extremes with its title character, a violence-loving law and order cop who would literally stop at nothing to get his man (he once blew up a building to get a sniper off the roof). In true satirical cop show fashion he has an empathetic female partner and a long-suffering supervisor, whom he often hurts unintentionally.

The show suffered from difficult time slots throughout its run, as it was aired between Dallas and Miami Vice in its first season and The Cosby Show in its second. ABC had decided to cancel the show after one season, but a ratings jump for the final episode - Sledge accidentally nukes San Francisco after uttering his trademark "Trust me. I know what I'm doing" - led to a second season set five years before the first one. Viewership did not increase, and the show was cut after 41 episodes from 1986 to 1988.

Here's a full episode of the show, with more clips here.

(6)The Job v. (11) Square Pegs

The Job would be at least partially familiar to viewer of Denis Leary's best known show, Rescue Me, given the similarities between that show's Tommy Gavin and The Job's Mike McNeil, who faces many of the same issues around substance abuse and infidelity as Gavin, but plays them for laughs.

Leary brings the same sort of wit and eye for life as a public servant to both shows, and in both manages to create a lead who is reprehensible but appealing. And if you know many police, you'll know that it's not an unsual combination to find in that line of work. The level of realism in the show was also higher than normal for television, but was also balanced by playing off of some of the cop show stereotypes as well.

As can be expected, a show that finds comedy in some darker places and also doesn't use a laugh track can be a bit of a challenge. Throw in a delay in the second season opener due to 9/11, and it's not surprising that ABC gave the show the boot after 19 episodes in 2001 and 2002.

Several clips here.

Square Pegs opened with dialogue between two friends, Patty Greene and Lauren Hutchinson, who discovered that the secret to high school is "[c]liques. Little in-groups of different kids. All we have to do is click with the right clique, and we can finally have a social life that's worthy of us." Thus set the weekly attempts by Patty and Lauren to crack into the popular clique, which included the usual beautiful people.

In reality, Patty and Lauren wind up forming their own clique with the class clown and his new wave musician buddy. And, in true high school fashion, they don't always see that the friends they do have are more solid than the ones they'd like to have.

The tone of the show matches what would be coming with Fast Times at Ridgemont High and the films of John Hughes. The theme song was performed by The Waitresses, giving some added period cred. It also featured early roles for some name actors, including Traci Nelson, Jami Gertz, and Sarah Jessica Parker as Patty.

Debuting to strong ratings, the show couldn't hold them, and CBS cancelled the show after 20 episodes in the 1982-83 season.

A variety of clips for you here.

Trio Trophy - DAY ONE RESULTS

Turn On bracket:

(18) It's Your Move d. (15) American Gothic, 7-2

Quote of the Match: "It's when America first fell into its confusing love/hate relationship with Jason Bateman." - Craig

(17)Idiot Savants d. (16) Gideon's Crossing, 6-3

Quote of the Match: "Why didn't you say 'the one with the brain?'" - Greg

(Answer: because I am not that smart.)

South of Sunset bracket:

(18)QED d. (15) Relativity, 7-2

Quote of the Match: "This one is really a push. But I figure if I'm going to vote at all, then I'm not going to cop out." - mingusmonk

(Note: this may have also appeared on a pro-Clinton message board)

(17)Bakersfield PD d. (16) Skag, 7-2

Quote of the Match: "Skag, I guess. It gets the hometown discount." - Dwight

Trio Trophy - Day 3

We're into the field of 64. Woo!

From the Turn On bracket:

(3) Homefront v. (14) Legend

Homefront mined the aftermath of World War II for drama and sudsiness, depicting the lives of GIs freshly returned to River Run, Ohio from the battlefields of Europe and Asia. Each of the three main veterans faced their own set of challenges, be it a wife who no longer loved her husband to an African-American vet who returned home to face the same discrimination he had before going to war.

The unique post-war setting set Homefront apart, and fans and critics touted its ability to maintain focus over all the characters without getting too confusing. The period detail and ability to create nostalgia in viewers who weren't alive in the 1940s didn't hurt, either. It just didn't do that for enough viewers.

The show ran on ABC from 1991 to 1993, airing 42 episodes.

Here's a clip from the show, featuring Kyle Chandler.

Legend commbined The Wild Wild West with Remington Steele. Ernest Pratt is a dime novelist whose best-known creation is Nicodemus Legend, who uses a variety of ingenious contraptions to foil bad guys. He winds up assuming Legend's identity at the behest of Dr. Janos Bartok, who is able to provide many of the fanciful inventions that Legend uses in the books for actual use in fighting crime.

Of course, you can also say that there's a dash of MacGyver in the show, as Pratt/Legend is played by Richard Dean Anderson, his first starring role after that series. Bartok is played by John De Lancie, best known as Q from the Star Trek universe.

The show had the misfortune of airing during the inaugural season of UPN, and did not survive the change in network suits that saw every show but Star Trek: Voyager get the axe at the end of the season. Apparently, steampunk didn't work for them. 12 episodes aired during the spring and summer of 1995.

Several Legend clips here.

(6) Black Sheep Squadron v. (11) Boomtown

Black Sheep Squadron, also known as Baa Baa Black Sheep during its first season, followed a unit of less than spit-and-polish Marine flyers stationed in the Pacific. They were led by "Pappy" Boyington, played by Robert Conrad. Pappy chose his unit based on ability and results, giving many of them reprieves from prior mishaps. And, like the 4077th on M*A*S*H, the unit often got out of trouble based on its successes (it was also based on a book about a real-life unit).

Along with the expected blend of drama and comedy, producer Stephen J. Cannell used stock footage from other projects and a new technique of filming inside a single-seat aircraft to give the action scenes a quality not usually seen on TV. Even so, NBC cancelled the show after one season, only to bring it back when most of the following year's new programming tanked. With its new name, the show racked up 37 episodes from 1976 to 1978.

Some longish clips from the show can be seen here.

Boomtown applied the Rashamon style of story-telling to crime in present day Los Angeles. Each episode focused on a particular investigation, telling the story from the viewpoint of a variety of characters involved in the proceedings. Story lines about the personal lives of the main cast also cropped up, from the failing marriage of deputy DA David McNorris and the suicide attempt by the wife of detective Joel Stevens.

Critics raved about the show, but the often depressing reality of the plots didn't attract a wide audience. Low rating caused NBC to move the show from Sunday to Friday, and then to end its first season before May sweeps. They renewed the show, but revamped it considerably, making it more of a procedural. That pretty much chased the die-hards off, and the show wrapped after 24 episodes over 2002 and 2003.

This link will not only give you Boomtown clips, it also has the video for "I Don't Like Mondays" by the Boomtown Rats. A little bonus for you.

From the South of Sunset bracket:

(3) The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles v. (14) Undeclared

The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles were just that - stories about the youthful adventures of the big screen's favorite archaeologist, as told by his 93-year-old self. George Lucas maintained his feature film mentality for the series, plotting an extensive timeline that would have accounted for 70 episodes, as well as shooting in roughly a dozen countries.

The stories featured one of two young Indys, one about 10 years old, the other a teenager (played by Sean Patrick Flannery). Several episodes built on the movies, including the relationship between Indy and his dad and the search for the Eye of the Peacock.

The show developed a devoted following and reeled in 10 Emmys, but couldn't quite pull of the transition from the movies. The show lasted for 28 episodes, with some originally airing on USA rather than ABC, which had the show in 1992 and '93.

Plenty of clips here.

Undeclared was Judd Apatow's attempt at a college-based TV show, mindful that it's nearly impossible to show what actually happens at college. He did his best, though, following a group of freshmen at the University of North Eastern California as they made the transition out of high school.

And while the show couldn't quite go into the depths of collegiate excess, it did capture enough of the college experience to get beyond the American Pie expectations you'd have with a show about college students that aired on Fox. The show debuted to strong ratings, but they dropped over the run of the series, unhelped by Fox's handling of the show. Critical acclaim and a strong cult following didn't help it avoid the axe after 17 episodes in the 2001-02 season.

Some clips for the show are available here.

(6) TV Nation v. (11) The Associates

TV Nation brought Michael Moore's particular brand of muckraking to the small screen, as he and his correspondents took stories into their own hands, doing things like invading a private beach in Greenwich, Connecticut by sea and buying - and then emancipating - slaves on the day that Mississippi finally banned slavery.

Many of the stories followed Moore's interest in corporate shenanigans, as seen in the running series where CEOs were challenged to use the products they made and the introduction of Crackers the Corporate Crime Fighting Chicken.'

The show had an admirable set of correspondents, including Janeane Garofalo, Karen Duffy, Rusty Cundieff and Louis Theroux. There were also a number of special guests, both intentional (such as Yaphet Kotto competing against an ex-con to see who could get the most cabs to pick them up) and unintentional (such as the ambassadors from Serbia and Croatia, who Moore visited in an attempt to bring peace to the region).

The show's two seasons were split between NBC and Fox during the summers of 1994 and 1995, and even won an Emmy for Best Informational Programming after the 1995 season. When it came time for a third season, though, Fox blinked and declined to pick it up. A group of international networks put together funding for a third season, but the lack of US distribution put the kibosh on things.

A number of TV Nation segments can be seen here.

The Associates did something unique for a show about lawyers - it portrayed their work in a realistic and somewhat humorous setting, rather than in courtroom set-pieces. The associates of the title were a group of young lawyers at Bass and Marshall who ranged from the self-centered Elliot Streeter (who planned to take the firm over someday) to Tucker Kerwin, a midwesterner who was always a little out of step with his Ivy-educated colleagues.

The show was produced by the same folks who gave us Taxi (James Brooks et. al.), a group with some skill at workplace-based shows. It was also the first starring TV role for Martin Short, who played Kerwin.

ABC only aired 9 episodes of the show in the 1979-08 season, thanks in part to some questionable scheduling decisions (it debuted with a declining Mork and Mindy with its lead-in, for starters), an unfortunate end to one of the year's best-reviewed new shows.

No real video out there, other than the show's inclusion in this ABC preview.

The Trio Trophy - Day Two

Welcome back to the Trio Trophy, a tournament to determine the best TV show that died of view lonliness or was buried alive under an avalanche of network notes.

Shows are grouped into four brackets of 18 shows. Each day will present four match-ups, from which you will choose the best show in each match-up (or abstain if you so choose). Voting is open for 48 hours from the time the match-ups are posted. There'll be new match-ups every weekday.

Today, the "play-in" games from the other two brackets.

From the Co-Ed Fever bracket:

(15) Now and Again v. (18) When Things Were Rotten

Now and Again is your average story about a guy who is killed in a subway accident, but has his brain put into a body the government created for espionage work. The government hasn't been able to build a brain for the body (there's a metaphor in there somewhere), and haven't completely reformatted the one they have, as the newly-brained agent finds himself longing for a home he never lived in.

Pretty good cast here, with John Goodman playing brain donor Michael Wiseman, Dennis Haysbert as the government scientist in charge of the program, and Eric Close as the new and improved Michael Wiseman.

This was another attempt by CBS to shed it fogey image, and another one that didn't stick. CBS cited the cost of the show as the main reason for dumping it after 22 episodes in the 1999-2000 season. Those three Saturn Awards apparently meant nothing.

Plenty of clips from the show to be found here.

When Things Were Rotten is best thought of as a very early version of Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Almost 20 years before that film, Brooks recast the Robin Hood story as the triumph of the dim over the slightly more dim, with the usual assortment of Brooks' trademark humor.

The cast included some very familiar TV names, such as Dick Van Patten as Friar Tuck and Bernie Kopell as Alan-a-Dale. Throw in Dick Gaultier as Robin and you can see a bit of Get Smart in the show, too.

Critics enjoyed the show, but it was a little too different for TV audiences, who never quite tuned in. It probably didn't help that it aired opposite Little House on the Prairie. ABC stuck with the show for 13 episodes in 1975 before sending it off to the dungeon.

Not much by way of video out there, but perhaps the opening credits will give you a taste of what the show was about.


(16) Maximum Bob v. (17) Upright Citizen's Brigade

Maximum Bob was based on the Elmore Leonard novel of the same name. Beau Bridges played "Maximum Bob" Gibbs, a judge in Deepwater, Florida, whose heavy sentences for minor infractions (such as the death penalty for drinking in public) served to highlight the strangeness of everyone else, from his wife (a former water attraction mermaid turned channeler) to the swamp-living, possibly inbred Crowe family.

About the only sane person in the bunch was defense attorney Kathy Baker, who stayed on in Deepwater to both protect people from Gibbs and help put deserving criminals behind bars.

A summer series for ABC in 1998, they declined to pick it up after a 7 episode run that won critical acclaim but few viewers, even though it aired in NYPD Blue's regular time slot.

Can't find video for this, which is odd. It seems like the kind of show that would be out there.

The Upright Citizen's Brigade started out as a Chicago-based improv troupe, and on the way to going national they got their own show on Comedy Central. Styled as a group dedicated to creating and supporting chaos, the UCB would go into action any time it detected high levels of normalcy.

Each episode rotated around a theme, and every episode in a season mentioned something that would become the focus of the season's final episode (for example, the second season finale was a mockumentary about a drug called supercool). Episodes also featured cast members interacting with real people, such as the UCBer who tried to get a convenience store clerk to post a flier about baby fights.

Interestingly for a show that didn't trade in pop culture references or impressions, cast member Amy Poehler would go on to a show that seems to only trade in them, Saturday Night Live.

The show had three ten-episode seasons on Comedy Central. Apparently a fourth season would have prevented the network from showing PCU five times a day.

Plenty of video available, and to mix it up you can see clips here.

From the Public Morals bracket:

(15) Keen Eddie v. (18) Miss Guided

Keen Eddie was a fish out of water police drama starring Mark Valley as Eddie Arlette, a NYPD detective who goes to London to work with Scotland Yard to bust a drug ring and accepts an offer to keep working for them. He is partnered with Monty Pippin, whose variety of sexual misadventures become a focal point of their partnership.

Eddie also has to deal with a surprise roommate, Fiona Bickerton (Sienna Miller). Fiona is living in the flat that Eddie rented from her parents while pretending to go to university. They strike an uneasy truce, which slowly became more of a friendship as the season progressed.

Originally intended as a midseason replacement, it was bumped back to run in the summer of 2003 on Fox. The delays, combined with the horrific lead-in of American Juniors, led to the show's cancellation, with the last few of the show's 13 episodes airing on Bravo.

You can watch clips of Keen Eddie here.

Miss Guided was the latest show to walk in the footsteps of Welcome Back, Kotter, with Judy Greer playing guidance counselor Becky Freeley. She returns to work at her alma mater, Glen Ellen High School, only to find that the faculty now includes Lisa Germaine (Brooke Burns), a former classmate who is as attractive and popular now as she was in high school. Both have their sights set on Spanish teacher Tim O'Malley, who seems oblivious to the struggle. The stand-out in the supporting cast is Chris Parnell, who plays the clueless - and slightly creepy - Vice Principal Bruce Terry.

The show came from Ashton Kutcher's studio, explaining his appearance as a subsitute teacher and Rumer Willis' bit part as a student.

The show premiered after an episode of Dancing With the Stars, but after moving to its regular Thursday timeslot (where it ran back-to-back episodes), ratings tanked, leading ABC to cap things at seven episodes and not renew it for 2008-09.

Clips for the show to be found here.

(16) The Slap Maxwell Story v. (17) Call to Glory

The Slap Maxwell Story is pretty well described by its opening credits. In them, we'd see Slap get, well, slapped, by someone who has taken offense at something he wrote, said or did. A sports writer whose best days were behind him, Maxwell would spice his columns will all sorts of rumors and unprovable claims, whose seriousness never seemed to quite get him fired for good.

His working persona was not that far off from his private one, as Slap was pretty much insensitive to everyone, most notably his ex-wife, Annie, who you think wouldn't have to put up with it any more. Slap did have a kind-of relationship with his newspaper's secretary, which was on or off depending on how much of a jackass he'd been.

Slap was the sort of character who could only be played by Dabney Coleman, who has made a career of playing cantankerous louts. And, as in pretty much every case where he's done so, the viewers didn't quite see what the critics were raving about. The show put in a 22 episode season in 1987-88 for ABC.

This clip gives you a taste of Slap's charming personality.

Call to Glory set the tone for The Wonder Years and pretty much all of NBC's '60s nostalgia programming with its combination of topicality and period music. Craig T. Nelson plays Colonel Raynor Sarnac, an Air Force pilot whose professional and family lives intersect with many of the historic highlights of the decade.

As forward-thinking as the show's concept was, and as successful as it would be for others, the show may have tried a little too hard to cover all the highlights. ABC had high hopes for this show in the 1984-85 season, but it only lasted 19 episodes.

The only clips of Call to Glory I could find were on YouTube, and had little to do with the show (one was a clip of a SR-71 Blackbird, the other actual footage of JFK's funeral that was used in an episode).

The Trio Trophy - Day One

Welcome to the Trio Trophy, a tournament to determine the best TV show that, through the incompetence of network suits or the pedestrian taste of the masses, deserved a long run but did not get it.

Shows are grouped into four brackets of 18 shows. Each day will present four match-ups, from which you will choose the best show in each match-up (or abstain if you so choose). Voting is open for 48 hours from the time the match-ups are posted. There'll be new match-ups every weekday.

To start, we've got four of what amount to play-in games between the lower-seeded shows.

From the Turn On bracket:

(15) American Gothic v. (18) It's Your Move

American Gothic lived up to its name, if nothing else. Set in Trinity, South Carolina, it followed young Caleb Temple (Lucas Black) in his struggle against his biological father, town sherriff Lucas Buck (Gary Cole), whose bloodthirsty reign was apparently backed up by some level of supernatural power. The pilot episode saw Buck kill Caleb's sister and manipulate his legal father into killing himself, unusual stuff for a CBS drama.

This show was best known at the outset for being created by Shaun Cassidy, who was apparently compensating for all the sunny musical numbers his brother did on The Partridge Family. It lasted for 22 episodes (18 of which aired) during the 1995-96 season.

Watch various clips of American Gothic here.

It's Your Move pitted scheming high schooler Matt Burton (Jason Bateman) against his mom's writer boyfriend Norman Lamb (David Garrison), whose experience as a kid like Matt allows him to foil Matt's various plots.

Low ratings dictated a change, and 14 episodes into the run one of Matt's schemes is busted by his mom, who previously was pretty much clueless. Not surprisingly, this conversion to a conventional family sitcom did nothing to jump start the ratings. The show lasted 18 episodes during NBC's 1984-98 season.

Watch clips from It's Your Move - and its apparently seminal two-part episode "The Dregs of Humanity" - here.

(16) Gideon's Crossing v. (17) Idiot Savants

Gideon's Crossing suffered from being ahead of its time in two respects. First, as it followed Dr. Ben Gideon (played by the always excellent Andre Braugher) in his work running an experimental cancer treatment center and teaching new doctors, it missed being the House of its time. Even if Gideon didn't use a cane or have patients who regularly bled out of orifi better left unbloodied.

(It should be noted that both shows were produced by Paul Attanasio, who also worked on Homicide with Braugher.)

In the other respect it had Eric Dane playing a doctor, but apparently not to the level of McSteaminess that has helped Grey's Anatomy suds its way to longevity.

So even though it had the cast and the critical acclaim, it didn't have enough Vicodin abuse or pretty surgeons. 21 episodes were aired during the 2000-01 season on ABC.

This is the only decent clip of Gideon's Crossing I could find, and it features Eric Dane.

Idiot Savants was MTV's best attempt at an actual game show. Four contestants answered questions over the course of a week, with the leading point-scorer for the week winning a car or some such "major" prize. Interesting features of the show included the Dunce, who had to sit out rounds but could steal points when no other contestant knew the answer, and the Grand Savant round, where contestants had to correctly answer 10 questions on a subject of their own choosing while ensconced in the Cylinder of Shush.

The show was hosted by Greg Fitzsimmons, who managed to cut through some of the usual emcee shmaltz with his particular brand of sarcasm.

Less gimicky than Remote Control, the programming geniuses at MTV decided that what the youth of America really wanted to watch was 100 hours a week of Real Wolrd/Road Rules Challenge (which, sadly, probably wasn't far from the truth), leading to the show's cancellation after five weeks in 1996.

Watch a variety of clips from Idiot Savants here.



From the South of Sunset bracket:

(15) Relativity v. (18) QED

Relativity opens with Isabel Lukens, played by Kimberly Williams, doing the only sensible thing when offered a proposal of marriage from her long-time beau: she runs off to Italy. There she meets and falls for Leo Roth, who just happens to be a fellow Los Angelino. The series then follows them as they return home and try to deal with their new relationship, Isabel's old one, and the various lives and loves of their families.

This is one of the several family-based romantic dramas created by Edward Zwick and Marshall Herskovitz, who also gave us thirtysomething, Once and Again, and a show we'll be hearing from later. Clearly, they really know how to hit one specific audience. Unfortunately for them, it's never quite big enough.

Relativity was also one of the first shows whose dedicated/psychotic fans sent foodstuffs to network brass as a sign of devotion, as they sent cans of Campbell's soup to protest plans to cancel the show. It failed, making Relativity one of the 800 or so shows cancelled during Jamie Tarses' reign at ABC. It did last 17 episodes, which is something, I suppose.

Watch clips of Relativity here.

QED were the initials of Quentin E. Deverill, an early 20th century Harvard professor whose forward-thinking inventions were scoffed at by his peers. This led him to leave the ivory tower for London, where his inventions coupled with his sleuthing abilities to make him a bit of a steampunk Sherlock Holmes.

The show marked Sam Waterston's first foray into TV. It was a brief one, lasting for six episodes on CBS in 1982. We'll hear more from him later.

Watch a clip of QED here.

(16) Skag v. (17) Bakersfield P.D.

Skag was the nickname of Peter Skagska, a foreman at a Pittsburgh steel mill. His life isn't easy; he's on his second wife, neither of his sons seem interested in following in the old man's footsteps to work at the failing mill, and his disabled dad is living with the family. And, in the show's first episode, Skag suffers stroke.

It's probably no wonder that a show as dour as this didn't catch on, even with a strong cast (featuring Karl Malden as Skag and Piper Laurie as his wife) and writing. NBC got five episodes out of the show in 1983. The three hour pilot, though, landed six Emmy nods, so it wasn't a total loss.

Perhaps not surprisingly, I can't find online video for Skag.

Bakersfield PD followed the exploits of some of that California city's police officers, most notably recent transplant Paul Gigante, who had a little trouble fitting in with his redneck partner Wade Preston, given that Gigante is African-American. Gigante was played by Giancarlo Esposito, better known as Michael Giordello, son of Al Giordello on Homicide. Ron Eldard played Preston.

Shot with natural lighting and no laugh track, it didn't quite click with the fart and single-entendre crowd at Fox, lasting 17 episodes during the 1993-94 season.

You can see a clip from Bakersfield PD here.

Reminders and updates:

1. The Brilliant But Canceled tournament (still to be renamed) will commence Monday. If you have suggestions, please comment or send them along. Thanks to all of you who've given input so far, even if I've been lousy at emailing you back.

2. Next week also sees the start of Euro 2008, so if you've not joined my Euro Pick 'Em group at ESPN.com, get the lead out. Password is cornerkick.

3. While it's in one of the more, uh, "transitional" parts of the South End (SoWa, or South of Washington Street), I'd recommend Gaslight if you're looking for a casual semi-fine dining experience. The food is French bistro, and is very good if not great, but there's a good-sized parking lot next door where you can park for free. That makes up for a lot.

I won't comment on the SoWa name. You can guess what I think.

Book Log 2008 #24: Schultz and Peanuts by David Michaelis

I'd always heard that Charles Schultz was not the happiest guy, and this book confirms that in voluminous detail. And for what could be depressing reading, given how often we hear about Schultz feeling depressed, isolated, or powerless, the story of how Shultz achieved his one life's goal - the creation of a daily newspaper comic strip - and the impact that had on the world at large helps to balance out the gloom. It also helps that several strips are reprinted that reflect how Schultz mined his life for story ideas.

Set aside some time and dig in.

Book Log 2008 #23: In Spite of the Gods by Edward Luce

With all the focus recently on the growing economic clout of China, I was interested to delve into this book, which examines similar growth - and the myriad challenges to it - in India. The book starts by looking at India's growth in the tech sector and lack of growth in manufacturing, comparing it to China's more traditional growth path, and then starts to deal with the problems that could derail India's success.

Luce is a long-time India journalist and has married into a local family, so he's able to bring professional and personal perspectives to the issues, which helps to give greater depth to the discussion. Most of the book dwells on the problems, which by the end makes you wonder how India managed to get as far as it has. I wasn't crazy about the ending, which uses four particular issues as measures by which one could chart India's progress (such as how the country will address a growing HIV problem). I'd have appreciated something more conclusive. Even so, this book goes a long way towards explaining modern day India for those of us who only get the occasional piece on the news.

So I'm mulling running a tournament here over the summer. The basic idea is Brilliant But Cancelled: The Tournament.

(Note to any NBC Universal legal counsel: I'll change the name when it starts, save the cease and desist letter for someone else.)

I don't have much of it planned, but it would generally follow the format used by Craig (among others) - each day would feature a number of match-ups (likely four to start, fewer as we move along), with multiple days allowed for voting in the comments and by email. At this point I'm thinking of limiting it to broadcast network prime time shows that lasted no longer than two seasons or 50 episodes (to cover older shows that had longer seasons or ran more than once a week), but am open to argument for including cable and/or non-prime time programming. Field size is open, too, but would likely be 64.

I'd probably start this in early June, though I'd really want to end it by August 1, so it's finished before our big graduation that month.

I'm working on shows to include now, but nominations are more than welcome, especially as I may miss some of the more recent shows that the kids watch.

I survived my brush with jury duty yesterday, getting excused about mid-day. I went farther this time than when I did state jury duty a number of years ago, as this time I actually went to a courtroom. There were only two trial starting yesterday, so they took fairly large groups to both. I made it through the judge's initial questioning in voir dire, but did not survive the peremptory challenges.

We were asked a few times to not discuss the case with people until it's over, which I'll honor here until I see news of a verdict (it should make some level of local news, and the way the judge was talking it'll likely wrap this week).

Generally, there would be many worse places to serve jury duty than the federal courthouse in Boston. Between the waterfront views and the well-maintained courtrooms, there's a lot to like. The only negative I can come up with is that the bathrooms were clearly not designed to handle large groups of jurors on a break.

Book Log 2008 #22: New England White by Stephen Carter

I really enjoyed Carter's first novel The Emperor of Ocean Park, so I was very happy to tuck into his follow-up effort, which takes two of the first book's minor characters - Lemaster and Julia Carlyle - front and center.

Julia is the main character, a dean at an unanmed Ivy's divinity school, while Lemaster is the school's new president. An economics professor at the school - a former lover of Julia's - is killed near their home in a nearby town, and she becomes wrapped up in solving his killing when it is linked to the death 30 years earlier of a teenager, a murder that Julia's daughter Vanessa has become obsessed with, either a cause or a sign of some underlying mental health issues.

As with the first book, the mystery that frames New England White is at times secondary to any of the book's various themes, from mother-daughter connections to the internal politics of academia to the inter- (and intra-) relationship of the "paler" and "darker" nations.

It all comes together in a pretty engrossing whole. I actually missed a subway stop while I was reading this book, which I don't think I've ever done before. I've read some complaints that the book is too long and that there are too many ancillary characters and subplots to keep things straight, but I'd have to disagree. These can be challenges (I'll admit to some flipping to remind myself about certain characters), but without all the detail I don't think the book would have been as complete. If you go into it expecting some complexities of detail (and if you read the first book, you were probably going to do this anyway), you'll be fine. Recommended, but not for a casual browse.

Fans of the beautiful game (and people who like to choose winners in international sports based on flag colors or whatever) are welcome to join the group I set up on ESPN.com for their Euro 2008 pick 'em game.

Group Name: Go England! Wait, what?!?
Password: cornerkick

So first, the good news. It appears that federal jury service does get you excused from state jury service, as I got my postcard from the state yesterday telling me I was excused. That was a nice surprise.

Now for the bad news. I actually do have to go to the federal courthouse on Monday. However, this does work out a little bit for me, as the missus and I have a pass to see a preview showing of the new Indiana Jones movie, which means we'd probably drive in to work. Now the feds are going to pay for me to drive in and park. So there's your silver lining.

Sorry for the hiatus, work picked up quite a bit with our May graduation on Sunday, where we added 108 new alumni to the rolls. It went quite smoothly, but given all the other stuff we have to along with graduation it's a tough week to do anything extra.

This week isn't much better, but I have found a little time to blog about the network TV upfronts on Tube Boob, which should now be linked on the right. I've posted there more this week than I have in the last three months.

Not much else to say right now, sorry to say.

Book Log 2008 #21: The Soul of Baseball: A Road Trip Through Buck O’Neil’s America by Joe Posnanski

In a way, I liked this book for the same reason I enjoyed Let Me Tell You a Story: there's a wealth of entertaining anecdotes, which in this case are all the more interesting given that they take place at a place and time that most Americans couldn't have been given their skin color. But I think the more valuable part of the book comes from seeing how Buck O'Neill took the discrimination and missed opportunities and turned them into a powerful, positive driving force for Negro Leaguers and baseball in general.

The writing flows freely and often puts O'Neill's words into poetic form, which more often than not enhances the quality of what's said. It's also clear that the author has a demonstrable love for his subject that is refreshing at a time when sports biography tends towards the sycophantic or the combative.

At some point soon I'll have to read I Was Right On Time, O'Neill's autobiography. In the meantime, I'd highly recommend this book.

Book Log 2008 #20: Bridge of Sighs by Richard Russo

If you've read any of Russo's other works, the themes here - the clannish nature of small town life, the regret of advancing age and the difficulties of intergenerational family life - will be familiar. But it says something about his skill as a writer that he can continue to mine these topics (as well as the setting of upstate New York) without being repetitive or dull. That he does this while writing what is his grandest novel in scope - it covers three lives in depth over the span of 60 years - is icing on the cake.

That being said, the book does unfold in a very conversational way that doesn't have the sort of concrete resolution that may be expected. In that way it's actually more like life, which rarely has the sort of denoument that allows things to wrap up nicely. But it also makes it a little harder to feel like you can get your head around what the book is actually about. The shifting of time in the narrative can also cause a little whiplash, but it's a small price to pay for a novel this endearing.

It's probably one of the best novels of the year, but I can't help but think that some folks will find it disappointing.

It's things like this that make me think that maybe we should never count Florida's votes for anything ever again.

Book Log 2008 #19: The Overseer by Jonathan Rabb

Very disappointing conspiracy thriller, whose premise - a 16th century text that provides a blueprint for world domination is being implemented by a trio of powerful men under the direction of the titular figure - is interesting. Its execution, however, is not.

The Overseer is one of those thrillers where everything happens or is described in some sort of superlative fashion, hoping that a litany of things that happen at the last second or involve the best or worst of something will provide a sense of motion or energy that aren't actually there. The characters are pretty standard - evil old men and young, relatively attractive protagonists who develop the required romantic interest in each other - and not particularly interesting. The sinister plot itself is never fully explained, which isn't necessary but would have helped given the fragmented and vague references to parts of it (though I was amused by the repeated referenced to the first trial, thanks to it being constantly put in italics).

It's never a good sign when you consider giving up on a book when you're three-quarters or more of the way through. I fought the impulse to do so expecting a payoff that never came, and really wasn't likely given the several hundred pages that came previously. Save yourself the trouble and don't bother picking this one up.

Book Log 2008 #18: Civil War Fantastic by Martin H. Greenburg (ed.)

At first I was pleasantly surprised that this collection of Civil War alternative history stories didn't include some of the familiar favorites like "Bring the Jubilee," but I should have taken that as a sign. None of the stories here come close to that story's level, and only a handful were particularly interesting.

It's not really worth seeking out, but if you come across it and have need for a reasonably diverting book of short stories, it's worth a browse.

So a while back I mentioned that I'd been selected for federal jury duty, and that I was trying to get a deferment as it fell right during our May graduation. Turns out my concerns were adjudged reasonable, as the feds have allowed me to push things back by a couple of weeks. It was a quick and painless sort of deal, quite unlike the stereotypical bureaucratic nightmare.

So, of course, the state judicial system had to jump in and ruin the moment by summoning me for jury duty in July.

It may not be all that bad, as one of the categories for dismissal from state service is currently scheduled jury service. It just wasn't clear if federal jury duty counts, but I'm going to give it a go. I'm not expecting much.

Book Log 2008 #17: Instruments of Darkness by Robert Wilson

While I can't make the claim the publisher does that this book echoes Raymond Chandler (note to self: read some Raymond Chandler), I did very much enjoy this book, Wilson's first novel.

It's the start of a four book series featuring Bruce Medway, a professional middleman working in West Africa whose more usual work - brokering trade deals of varying legitimacy - intersects with his less usual work - finding people - with the sort of results you might expect from working with such dubious characters.

It's a lot less introspective than Wilson's later works - especially the Falcon series, where the crime is often second fiddle - though there's room for that to open up over the next three books. It was a solid beach read if you need something more than the standard vacuous thriller.

It's apparently National Library Week, which seems like one of those things I should know, being kind of a library geek.

Not much more to add to that, other than you think they'd come up with a better slogan. But I suppose there's a reason why they're working with books rather than writing them. At least they got it trademarked, what with the market for bootleg National Library Week merch.

Seriously, though, if you've not been to your local library recently, this seems like a good week to stop in.

Book Log 2008 #16: Stalin's Ghost by Martin Cruz Smith

This is the latest novel featuring Moscow police detective Arkady Renko, in which he finds himself tangled up with new Russian politics when people report seeing Joseph Stalin in a Moscow subway station. These sightings become connected to a police colleague and Chechnya war hero who is running for parliament, and raise further questions about the colleague's actions in Chechnya. There's also a personal element to the case, as Renko's girlfriend knows the colleague from Chechnya, and seems to be more interested in being with him than with Renko.

Another solid outing in the series.

From the NCAA 2006-08 Men & Women's Ice Hockey Rules and Interpretations, Rule 6 Section 18:

"A goal shall be allowed if the puck has been directed into the goal by an attacking player with the skate, unless a distinct kicking motion is used."

Sadly, there's no further clarification on what makes a distinct kicking motion, though based on tonight's game it seems to include a puck hitting a foot that isn't moving towards the goal. Dammit.

While some use the term Hockey Christmas in reference to the Frozen Four, last night's results made it more like Hockey Whatever Holiday Involves Repeated Knees to the Groin. I thankfully did not see much of the first game (got a score early in the third period and turned it off), and watched enough of the second to be both irritated at Notre Dame at blowing a 3-0 lead and Michigan for not getting to the final, as I'd assumed they'd be a more daunting opponent for that other team.

In any case, the final tally:

Coen, M 13
Nichols 13
Barker 12
De Veau 12
Hight 12
Burger 11
Rosenberg 11
Sorenson 11
Bruce 9
Boggie 7
Coen, S 6

I win on the first tiebreak, as I correctly guessed 8 games, and Kelly only picked 7.

So all of this sets up what seems to be the national title game of haterade for most folks. I, of course, will be rooting for Notre Dame, but I can understand that some of you may not be able to do this. I just ask that you not root for that other team, if possible.

Book Log 2008 #15: Last Seen Wearing by Colin Dexter

In this, the second book in the series, Morse is called in to take over a missing persons case involving a 17 year old girl. The case is over two years old, but has been the focus of renewed interest based on new information - apparently supplied by the missing girl herself.

It's pretty classic Morse, which is pretty impressive given that is only the second book in the series. I did feel like the solution came from a little bit out of left field, but the overall entertainment value is high enough to forgive that.

You may remember back in the fall I asked for suggestions on a location for a warm weather vacation. Or you may not, given the dearth of suggestions (thanks again to you happy few who did chip in your two cents). Either way, this past week was the week of the warm weather vacation, which saw us go to the Dominican Republic to stay at a resort on the Playa Dorada, which lies on the north coast near Puerto Plata.

I'm not sure if I'll recap the trip here, actually write something up separately, or do as I've done for last summer's trip to Devon and think happy thoughts about a write up before letting it pass. We'll see how motivated I can get to do something.

Anyway, happy to be back, or at least as happy as can be given that it's in the 40s and drizzling.

And, potentially, triply screwed. Which is problematic given the nature of the previous screwing. I'll try to stay away from sharp objects and open flame.

(That's a joke, or an attempt at one, I swear.)

I'm doubly screwed.

I'm screwed.

Book Log 2008 #14: Sword Song by Bernard Cornwell

The latest in the Saxon Tales series, as the Saxon-raised-Dane Uhtred wavers in his oath to Alfred, King of Wessex, when he is tasked to drive the Danes out of London.

It's a fine story, even without the usual dash of nostalgia that historical fiction gets from setting up in London past (it's too far in the past to really get that). The website notes that this takes place about five years after the last book, which I hadn't really noticed. Given the subplot about Alfred's daughter getting married, I should have twigged on to this, as she wasn't really marrying age in the previous book.

I caught the first couple of innings of today's Sox-A's opener before going to work, and was interested to see that the NESN broadcast of the game opened with a quote from Sun Tzu. Which may have been more appropriate if Sun Tzu weren't actually Chinese.

There were apparently a number of broadcast outages that hampered viewing, which I assume will cause Red Sox Nation to recall their ambassador to DirecTV.

I wound up following most of the game using ESPN's game tracking widget, which was very slow. I didn't get the final score on it until I'd heard it from a co-worker a good 5 to 10 minutes beforehand (he had the final when ESPN was still listing the game as 6-4 Sox). I also didn't like how it listed balls, strikes and outs, using filled circles as a default and then emptying them to denote where the batter or team stood for each. So backwards. Like most ESPN widgety things, there's too much focus on style (graphics actually show pitched and hit balls) and not so much on accuracy (the thing listed Okajima as pitching an inning that Papelbon actually threw).

Book Log 2008 #13: Have You Seen Dawn? by Steven Saylor

Rue Dunwitty has "escaped" from small Amethyst, Texas and made a life for herself in San Francisco. But on a return trip to see her grandmother she sees a sign in the local grocery store asking for information about a missing girl. The case begins to become the focal point of Rue's trip, as she starts to see suspects everywhere - even in her own family.

Saylor doesn't typically write fiction in contemporary settings - the closest he's come is the late 19th century in A Twist at the End, which is also set in Texas. I have to say I liked that book much more than this one; the characters were more interesting and the period details helped to flesh the story out. There's good detail about the town, and characters are given a chance to develop some back story, but it's hard to reach the same level that you'd get in a historically-set work.

It's not a bad book, just enough of a change from his usual work to make the differences stand out.

Has your March Madness bracket gone to pot? Well, here's a shot at redemption with my annual Frozen Four tourney.

The rules are relatively simple. Take yourself here to get the bracket. Pick your winners and get them to me by noon EDT on Friday.

Scoring will continue to be 1-2-4-8 points per win per round. Upset points based on regional seeding throughout the tournament is also in effect (so if you pick Air Force to win its first game, you'd get 4 points if they pulled it off, one for the win and three for beating a number 1 seed).

Should this thing end in a tie, it will be broken by comparing the following in order:

1. Most correct winners picked
2. Most correct match-ups picked
3. Most teams in the Frozen Four
4. Caber toss or monkey knife fight

One entry per person, please. There aren't enough games to let you go crazy with multiple entries.

Book Log 2008 #12: The World Without Us by Alan Weisman

I had a bit of a catastrophe streak going, between the last book that took place in a world without electricity, and this one that imagines what would happen to the Earth if, all of a sudden, people just disappeared.

Most of the chapters put forth specific scenarios, such as how Manhattan would flood and revert to its wilder beginnings without the people who keep the subway tunnels from filling with water. It also delves into some more theoretical areas, such as which animals would survive, how endangered species may rally or continue to dwindle, and if anything would evolve to take our place. It's all quite interesting and sharply written.

In some chapters, though, he's more focused more on cataloging our current neglect of the environment and how our consumerist society would impact the planet for millenia after we disappear. It's a strong argument for changing the way we do things, from our use of plastic to the way we mine for mineral resources, but it's also a little distracting. I found it changed the tone of those chapters a bit, as the what would happen part was much less of the focus of these chapters.

Still, this is probably the best book I've read in 2008.

Another hockey season went into the books last night, as the Icedogs dropped a 3-1 decision to Vermont. I should be happy we got as far as the league semis; if you'd told me on January 1 that the team would get that far, get back to being nationally ranked and have an outside shot at a NCAA tournament berth, I would have put up a sizable wad of cash against that happening.

(It also didn't help that we were sitting in front of a guy I tangentially know who, in a very loud voice, basically called the game as if he were working it for the Blowhard Pessimist Radio Network. Thankfully we don't sit anywhere near him during the regular season; we'd probably have tried to throw him under the Zamboni by now if we did.)

But it's still pretty frustrating to think about the missed opportunities with this team (losses given away to Robert Morris, Harvard, Dartmouth, the OT loss to BC in the Beanpot), especially one with so many seniors and, on paper, so much talent. Throw on to that the amount of talk among fans about whether or not Jack lost the team, of if he's stayed on too long, and it's both frustrating and a little sad.

Looking forward to next season, we're apparently hosting the Icebreaker tournament, Michigan is coming back for a couple, the guys are going to the Denver Cup, and the women's Frozen Four will be on campus. Let's focus on that for the next seven months.

Book Log 2008 #11: A Meeting at Corvallis by S. M. Stirling

Picking up not too long after the end of The Protector's War, the conflicts and tensions that have been building in the first two books finally come to a head and result in war. It's a pretty satisfying conclusion, though I did have some minor quibbles with the amount of time spent with a relatively new character (who I assume will play more of a role in the next series, which jumps ahead in time quite a bit) and the epilogue, which was way too mystical for my taste.

I was happy to see more attention paid to the communities not previously given much more than passing mention, one run by the remnants of the Oregon State faculty, the other by a monastic order. Though if the OSU faculty senate in the book is anything like the one's I've encountered, it's hard to believe they made it through the first week, never mind eight years.

Not that you care, but I've already lost a game in this madness that is March. I took Temple over Michigan State, as I found myself reaching for upsets. In that vein, you can add Baylor sometime within the next hour, unless there's a serious Purdue collapse.

(Don't take this to be hatin' on the Big 10. Though I may be hatin' on Sparty a bit after last season's NCAA ice hockey tournament spanking.)

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 44: Temple of Robotology, New New York, NY

With worship founded on the writings in The Good Book 3.0, adherents of Robotology are to refrain from smoking, looking at pornography, abusing electricity, and consuming alcohol.

Robots unable to resist temptation wind up in Robot Hell, which is located underneath an amusement park in New Jersey. There the sinners will face eternal damnation - unless they can best the Robot Devil in a fiddling contest, at which point the robot goes free and wins a solid gold fiddle (thanks to the provisions of the Fairness in Hell Act of 2275).

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 43: St. Barnabus Church, Dibley, Oxfordshire, England

Located in a rural corner of England, St. Barnabus was one of the first Church of England parishes run by a female vicar after ordination of women was approved in 1994. The Reverend Geraldine Granger took over after the mid-service death of the 102 year old Reverend Pottle. The community took to her slightly unusual methods - such as a springtime service to bless the village animals - and came to accept her as their spiritual leader.

When it became clear that I wasn't going to be lawyering for a career, the law and I came to an agreement where we'd go our separate ways and not bother each other. This accord took a very slight break this morning when I attended my very first parking violation appeal.

Your fact pattern: the city enacted a parking ban on February 12, which means that those of us who park on the street had to move our cars to a city lot, which I did. The ban runs 48 hours, but may be rescinded earlier than that if possible, which happened in this case while I was at work on Thursday. I returned to Beverly on Thursday night to find a ticket on the car for a meter violation.

My thinking, based on past experience, is that the meters in the public lots were not active during the ban. We'd never put money in them in the past, and never received a ticket during a parking ban prior to this one. The announcement of the ban, which we checked on the city website, was silent on the issue of the meters.

According to the sargeant who heard my appeal, the meters remain in force during the day, which he said was noted on the city's parking hotline and in something that runs in the local paper every year. That the same information isn't presented on the website didn't seem to be an issue for him. In fact, he seemed to think that a person would still call the number, which seems redundant.

I'm not so much irritated about the fine as the feeling that it'd be pretty easily avoided if a line like "parking meters are still operational during the snow emergency" was added to the online announcement. It's pretty minimal, and given how likely people are now to go online rather than pick up a phone, I think it'd avoid future problems (unless this is some sort of revenue generating racket, which wouldn't surprise me). Given that a couple of other people got stuck paying what sounded like pretty dodgy handicap parking-related tickets (though I only heard their side of the story after their hearings), I shouldn't feel too bad.

I can't help but think this bodes poorly for jury duty. I'm going to be foreman on a Mob trial and wind up becoming Frank Henderson from Caspar, Wyoming after the defendant swears his vengance. I can feel it.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 42: Triple Rock Church, Chicago IL

Located on the south side of Chicago, the Triple Rock Church played a vital role in the continued operation of St. Helen of the Blessed Shroud orphanage. It was at this church that two of the orphanage's former residents, Jake and Elwood Blues, were divinely (and musically) inspired by the Reverend Cleophus James to reform their band and raise the money necessary to pay the back taxes on the orphanage building. How no one got a sainthood out of this is beyond me.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 41: Universal Life Church, the Internet

So the idea of this feature was that, during the 40 days of Lent, I'd mention a church that I'd been to or had some connection with, significant, tenuous, or otherwise. But then we go to church yesterday and the bulletin mentions that Lent doesn't end until Holy Saturday, which is the day before Easter. Apparently, the Sundays during Lent don't count. Heck of a time to learn this, though if nothing else it gives you an idea of the level of detail we went into in Sunday school.

So, for better or worse, more churches for you. But I have a feeling they'll be more like today's entry than those previous.

As some of you know, I am an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church. Have been for over a decade, when on Halloween in 1997 I put in my name, clicked a button, and received my certificate. It is just that simple. I did it in furtherance of something Halloween-related, but whatever it was I don't think it came to pass, so I became ordained for nothing.

I assume I'm still an active member of the ULC's clergy, though I don't think I'd fall back on it to get a decent parking space or perform a wedding. Though as Massachusetts does grant one day licenses to perform weddings, I am available for your matrimonial needs.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 40: Sacred Heart Parish, Manchester MA

Finally, the one church at least a few of you have seen in person back when the wife and I made it official. This was the fifth sacrament I've had administered at Sacred Heart, and unless I make a radical change in career and/or health status, the last one.

I was an altar boy here, went through Sunday school here (mostly, as a few years we had class at the instructor's house), and even worked here doing maintenance (let's just they got their money's worth from me cleaning up after bingo nights). For all that, I never felt like there was much of a parish community. Looking back I think there was one there, but not one that necessarily spoke to kids. And being in a parish now that has a school, the contrast is that much greater.

Still, it couldn't have been all bad. I've spent the last 40 days talking about churches, and I've not eaten meat on Fridays or bitten my nails (mostly) during the same period. None of that would have happened without Sacred Heart being in the picture.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 39: Immaculate Conception Chapel, Sainte-Anne-de-Beaupre, QC, Canada

This is the lower level of the basilica in this small town outside of Quebec City, which the wife and I visited on our first vacation together as a couple. It's named for Saint Anne, Mary's mother and patron saint of sailors, who built the first church here back in the 17th century.

We didn't look at much else at the site other than the basilica and chapel, given that it was early March and still pretty snowy. There is a stations of the cross there using life-sized figures, which can be a bit much. It is considered a pilgrimage site, and a variety of health-related miracles are attributed to visits here. I can't say that I experienced any, though hopefully I'll get an eon or two fewer in purgatory for stopping by.

There is also a canyon nearby with a waterfall, which we also stopped at. At some point we have to go back there when it's above freezing.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 38: East Wedding Chapel, Bellagio, Las Vegas NV

Not so much a church as a nicely-appointed room where something religious may or may not happen, depending on the officiant of choice. Still, it's one of the few places where you can use the terms "classy" and "Vegas" in the same sentence without irony or sarcasm. And it lets me keep the chapel streak alive, which is something. Sort of.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 37: St. Therese Carmelite Chapel, Peabody MA

If you were ever at the mall and thought, "hey, I could use a quick sacrament," then this chapel is for you. It's been at the Northshore Mall since 1960, and appears to be the first mall-based chapel in the US.

I've never been in, but the wife and I have been in the store on the rare occasion when we needed a religious-themed gift. I tend to enjoy the book area, which veers occasionally into the mystical (you'd be surprised at the number of books out there about uncorrupted corpses of saints). But I might stop in at some point, as I never considered the opportunity for anonymous confession. Not that I have anything really bad to disclose, but I'd like to be able to look our priest in the eye without feeling embarrassed.

Book Log 2008 #10: The Alexandria Link by Steve Berry

While I still hold to my thoughts on Berry and his last book, I also think that each successive book Berry has written has been a little less enjoyable than the one before it. Or at least that's a theory that fits given this latest book, which fell flat for me.

Brief synopsis: Cotton Malone is a former Justice Department agent who is now retired and owns a bookstore in Copenhagen. A surprise visit from his ex-wife and a RPG attack on his store put him on the trail of the collection of the Alexandria library. His ex-boss has a subplot involving a conspiracy at high levels of the US government to prevent Malone from finding the collection.

It's the stuff from which these "historical" thrillers are made, except that this book is all about the find rather than the item being found. In the earlier books, there's actually something to see when Berry's heroes find modern day Templars or the heir to the Russian throne. In this book, all the hyped up action leads to a discovery that more or less goes nowhere.

I wonder if the pace is the problem. This book came out in early 2007, he has a new book involving Alexander the Great that came out in December, and he has another book slated for this coming December. I'd happily have him write a little less if it meant a better end result. I'll have to track down the newest book to see if my theory holds.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 36: King's Chapel, Boston MA

A stop on the Freedom Trail, King's Chapel may best be know for its burying yard, Boston's original cemetery. It has fewer famous burials than Granary, which is across the street, but does have some of our earliest colonial residents, including our first governor.

I have never been in the church, though I've been by it hundreds of times. Really, I chose it for today to keep up the streak of chapels. Every time I see it I wonder what happened to the rest of its steeple, but given the lack of discussion in any history I've come across I'm assuming it never had a full steeple. Probably the Puritans' fault.

Beware the Ides of March, indeed - I got a summons for jury duty in the mail yesterday. It's a federal court summons, which I've not gotten before. Apparently, I have to be available during a three week window in May, during which time I have to call in the Friday before each week to see when and if I have to appear.

Problem being that the first week of this window ends with our spring commencement. Which, for an assistant registrar for graduation, is kind of a busy time. So I'm hoping to defer things by a week. I won't know if it's been approved until a week or so before the window starts, which is unfortunate but it does give me some time to set up contingencies should I not get a deferral and actually have to report that week.

Looking on the positive, I've never been to the new federal courthouse, so that'll be interesting. It's also close to where the wife works, so we could have lunch at the Barking Crab or Daily Catch. I think my per diem would just about cover it.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 35: North Shore Chapel, Danvers MA

We pass this church when we go to and from the highway. It's in the building that used to house St. Alphonsus, a Catholic parish that was merged into ours. The name lives on, however, as both this website and the billboard that just went up down the street reference the address by noting the St. Alphonsus name. I have to think on some level it must be galling to have to refer to your current church by the name of the one that preceded you in the space. It's like a Burger King that mentions it's where the McDonald's used to be.

40 Churches, 40 Days

Day 34: Chapel of the Holy Spouses Mary and Joseph, Waltham MA

This is the chapel at the retreat site where the wife and I did our marriage prep classes. I have to think that there are Catholic schools across the country with similar-looking chapels.

Nothing too notable about the place, but looking at a larger view of the picture I could swear that the figure between the confessionals is smacking the palm of his (or her) left hand with whatever is being held in the right hand. Wishful thinking, I'm sure.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 33: Emmanuel Chapel, Manchester MA

I remember the first time I noticed this chapel when I was a kid. I thought it was very strange that it would only be open in the summer, as all the other churches in town were open year-round. Of course, I didn't really consider location; the chapel is near several summer homes that are within walking distance and are only occupied when Brahmins and their progeny are up for the season.

So while I eventually figured out how this worked, I still don't know anyone who goes there. Which pretty much tells you what circles I travel in.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 32: King's College Chapel, Cambridge, England

We'll stay academic for this chapel, which could probably hold every other chapel mentioned in this series and have room left over for a couple of the smaller churches. It's very impressive, especially the ceiling, supported by the world's largest fan vault.

Seeing this was the high point of our day in Cambridge, though to be fair we didn't have much of a day. The weather was awful, and we got stuck in one of the slowest restaurants I've even been to for lunch, so our sightseeing plans were curtailed a bit. We did have a nice chat with a local while watching the River Cam swell, and we did see the Mathematical Bridge, but it wasn't the best day of our trip by any means.

Book Log 2008 #9: On Royalty by Jeremy Paxman

Paxman, a British journalist known for his aggressive interviewing, takes what he calls a "very polite inquiry" into the role of royals in the modern world, with a predominant focus on his native Windsors. Among the anecdotes and quirky history, two questions emerge: why are the royals still around, and why is the general public so fascinated by them?

I like the first half of the book better than the second, as it takes a wider view of royalty (an early chapter focuses on Leka, the pretender to the Albanian throne) and has a more logical progression to the topics covered. The second half bogs down a bit, I think, while examining the failure of republicanism to replace the monarchy. After that the expected slog through the death of Diana and the annus horribilis drags things out even more.

So while there's a lot to like here, I think the book doesn't quite answer the questions it raises.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 31: St. Nicholas Orthodox Church, Salem MA

The wife and I happened upon this place not too long after moving up to Beverly, during one of the occasional aimless drives we take (please don't hate me for enlarging my carbon footprint). I've never considered the North Shore a hotbed of Orthodoxy, so you can imagine my surprise when onion domes started sprouting in what is an otherwise traditional local neighborhood.

The fact that this church exists is about all I know of it, though from the website I've learned that it's part of the Orthodox Church in America, an independent branch of Orthodox Christianity that grew out of the Russian Orthodox church. I won't go further into this, as I'd probably make some sort of ecclesiastical faux pas. As the link suggests, more information on the OCA is available on the Internet.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 30: Marsh Chapel, Boston MA

I imagine at least a few of you are familiar with this building, even if just from walking by it. Original plans were for something much grander, but had to be scaled back due to cost and stability concerns (our campus is, in large part, built on landfill). Even so, it's one of the better on-campus chapels I've been in, and does a nice job balancing spiritual needs with secular/educational themes (where else can you find stained glass windows with Presidents Lincoln and Cleveland?).

I can't say I was a regular celebrant here. I occasionally went to the mid-day Mass on holidays, jammed in with the rest of the C&E Catholics. I went to the evening Mass more often than I'd care to remember. This is the "contemporary" service, or as I like to call it, the hippie Mass. Lots of guitar, hand-holding and other stuff that I try to avoid. Only on one or two occasions did I attend the night Mass with instrumental music, which is odd as it's the one I most preferred. I just never quite got worked up enough to make the walk down from West Campus every week.

The last couple of years that I worked at BU I would go to the Good Friday meditations, where a variety of chaplains would speak, with sermons separated by music. It takes three hours to sit through the whole thing, which I never did.

And, of course, I've been to one wedding there, complete with an appearance from Rhett. I'll let those more directly involved with the experience comment if they so choose.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 29: St. Joachim Church, Rockport MA

You may remember back on Day 3 that there was a church I was going to talk about at another time. Or you may not; you'd be excused, it does seem like this has been going on for months. At any rate, St. Joachim is now part of the Holy Family Parish, but previously it was the church that my family in Rockport frequented. I think at least one of my siblings was baptized here, but I could be mistaken.

I only recall being there once, for my grandmother's funeral. As you might imagine from the pictures, it looks much more like the typical Protestant white village church we have in spades up here, and the same is true for the inside. I wasn't paying much attention to these sorts of things at the time, but I do retroactively appreciate the simplicity.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 28: Annunciation Greek Orthodox Cathedral, Boston MA

This cathedral is located right across the street from campus. I've never been in, but it sounds impressive from the description. Certainly more impressive than their web site, or the job of the person who was supposed to pay their web host but apparently forgot.

Then again, the business office is located in Brookline, so it may be that they lost the check while in transit.

Fun work-related note is that, in changing our graduation dates back to Sunday from Saturday, a fair amount of parking normally used by celebrants is going to be taken. Not to mention that the start of the liturgy there may be interrupted by the drone of bagpipes. Fun times for our community relations person, no doubt.

Book Log 2008 #8: The Protector's War by S. M. Stirling

The first book in this series posited a change whereby electricity stopped functioning and combustible materials like gasoline and gunpowder no longer work as effectively, with the sort of gruesome outcome you might expect. The second book moves forwards eight years, where the groups that came out of this change have formed into larger neo-feudal societies, with the largest trying to consolidate its hold over the Pacific northwest. The bulk of the book prepares us for the start of the titular war, with much skirmishing and alliance-forming.

We're also introduced to a trio of Englishmen who, having run afoul of King Charles, need to get out of Blighty and find a new place to live. I'm not sure how much I like the way this part of the story unfolds - we get most of it in flashback - but it's a decent story line. As long as you don't get too distracted by the stereotypical English manner of speech.

I did feel like the book spent more time on the group formed along Wiccan/Celtic lines, which led to a lot of songs (also not surprising given how often Tolkien is referenced as an inspiration for characters). They aren't long, but it gets old quickly. I'd like to get more about the bad guys, and about some of the people we've not really interacted with yet (which is hinted at by the title of the next book).

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 27: St. Francis of Assisi, Belfast ME

This is where the wife and I used to on Christmas Eve when we'd be up at her parents' for the holiday. The music is much better than the church over in Winterport, but there are two drawbacks:

1. We always get lost going over to the church. It's not in a particularly tricky location, but we never quite get it right, leading to some rushing to get there on time.

2. It's not a big church, so we often got stuck in the balcony, which would be fine if it weren't faced with Plexiglas. If you're in the front pew, it's like being at a hockey game, just with less peppy organ music.

We did see someone pass out here one year (as you can imagine, it gets a little toasty between the small size and capacity crowd), but it turns out a member of the choir is also a doctor, which is kind of handy.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 26, First Congregational Church, Hadley MA

This, and the Farm Museum, dominate the downtown of Hadley, where the wife and I had occasion to stay on Saturday after watching the Icedogs lose a 5-1 debacle to UMass. Not surprisingly, the part of Hadley closer to the UMass campus is more built up, between the hotels and the Hampshire Mall.

This was our second trip to UMass for a game, and while I didn't notice it then, this most recent trip suggests that the Mullins Center may be the most techno-friendly arena in all of college hockey. They should really look at putting in some black lights and selling glow sticks at the concession stands.

We also got to stay in a Howard Johnson Express (according to the website, though it's not signposted as such), which is right across the street from the Holiday Inn Express. We like the latter better than the former, but not an extra $50 better. Still, I don't think we'd go back. Even the EconoLogde looks to be in better shape than the HoJo Express, which says something.

40 Days, 40 Churches

Day 25: St. Fachtnan's Cathedral, Kilfenora, Co. Claire, Ireland

We got a little lost on our drive out to the Cliffs of Moher, and wound up cutting through the edge of the Burren, an odd rocky bit of country. Figuring we had some time, we stopped at the Burren Center, which was OK, though many of the exhibits appeared to be at least as old as me.

Next door to the center is St. Facthnan's Cathedral, which as you can probably tell from the pictures isn't quite what it used to be. We didn't get much of a chance to look in the ruins, as there was some restoration work planned and most of the place was blocked off by scaffolding. It's a pretty impressive site nonetheless, and the standing crosses are pretty impressive, too. You'll notice in a couple of pictures a cross that's surrounded by a low pipe fence. That's to keep the cows away, apparently, as the field in which it stands was, when we were there, home to about 20 cows. Needless to say, we trod carefully when going to get a closer look.